“Bondye pa renmen Ayiti” (God doesn’t like Haiti) is the word on the street..."

Whirling, whirling, whirling...that is what my noodle-y head feels like. Off work today unexpectedly, and I suppose that is a very good thing. I think if we choose not to slow down on our own, God forces us to by making it physically impossible to do anything else. He takes good care of us.

I have Haiti on my mind all the time, and wonder what the mamas are feeling like in Port-Au-Prince today. I wonder how much more damage will be found, and how many more dead. One missionary letter I read said that their courtyard at the school they teach is filled with the homeless families on one side, and dead bodies on the other side...literally. There is no where yet to take them. They have 300 people using the yard as bedroom, kitchen, and toilet. And how do they get food and clean water for all these? How?

The Living Proof Ministries Blog (www.ivingproofministries.blogspot.com) posted a letter from a missionary family in northern Haiti that gave me a better perspective this morning. Pam McCormick and her husband are graduates from the Moody Bible Institute and have been serving for 3 years in Haiti. They have two sons, with a third baby due in the next two weeks. Pam wrote this post from her experience, feeling just the trembles of the quake and now trying to bolster her community through their mourning...she says "everyone has family in Port-au-Prince". I hope it encourages your heart as much as it did mine. This is an excerpt but you can go to the LPM blog to read the whole letter... it is worth it. Bring them YOU, Lord...bring them You.

“Bondye pa renmen Ayiti” (God doesn’t like Haiti) is the word on the street. And though I know it is the furthest from the truth, I can’t blame them for feeling like that. From its beginnings as a slave colony, the people of Haiti have suffered and endured unimaginable tragedy, abuse and injustice. When you think things just couldn’t possibly get any worse in Haiti, they do. Time and time again, Haitians display their iron resilience, and somehow find a way to press forward.

These are the days they don’t prepare you for in Bible College. These are challenges I don’t remember hearing about in my missions classes. It was all so fun back then—translating the book of Jonah from the Hebrew text, studying the historical backdrop of Jeremiah, and understanding the literary structures in the Psalms. And yet, what do I say to my neighbor who believes that God has forgotten about them? And even if I knew what to say, who am I to say it? After all, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clean water to drink, and…at the drop of a hat, I can get out of this mess and go back to the comfort of the US if I want to. If I offer them myself, I offer nothing. But if I offer them Jesus, I offer everything. For who better to understand their pain and suffering than He who endured the pain and suffering of the cross. Who better to comfort than the Father who watched his own son as he was crushed under the weight of the sins of mankind. Why He allowed it to happen? I don’t know. But in times like these, I can only cling to what I do know. And I know that He is good, and that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, His ways higher than my ways... Please continue to pray for the people of Haiti. May they turn to the God of all comfort, to Christ the Savior, and to the Spirit who intercedes on our behalf." Pam McCormick- Fort Liberte, Haiti from LPM blog post January 19, 2010

Pam's husband keeps a blog running as well, it has the current efforts and prayer requests.
http://highwaytohaiti.com/

Haiti- to go...or not to go? That is the question.

It is still so interesting to me that you can go from a pretty mediocre week, to one that wants to put you in a tail spin. I started Monday off with finding out that my very first oncology patient that I have worked with for an extended period of time, treating and evaluating her over the last 7 months, had died last weekend. I was on vacation from the clinic for a couple of weeks, so the last time I saw this dear woman, she was feeling good, doing well and "knew that God has healed me". That was before Christmas. Now she is gone. I deal with death and physical suffering on a daily basis, but this cancer fighter had a face. And more than that, the only thing I could see when I heard she was gone was her little 5 year old son's face, and her young husband's smile. Broken hearts abounded last week as I thought of her sweet family trying to press on.
Then the horrific disaster in Haiti. A country that very likely has loose, if any, building codes, and even fewer EMS and humanitarian services is struck with the awesome power of our Creator. It is a surreal feeling to see that kind of devastation, that kind of suffering, and be nice and cozy in my fancy suburban hospital, with middle aged women whining that "the tape is making me itch" on their dressings, or "the taco salad they served for dinner didn't have very much flavor". I felt guilty all week for being spoiled rotten. You send money, you pray, and you cry- but it still feels like a world away.

Then the call comes Saturday- "Can you come help?" A nursing group I joined sends RN's to the front lines of natural and traumatic disasters to triage, bandage and provide relief to the medical personnel in places just like Haiti. And they want to know if I can come and help. My heart immediately says "Of course", and then the questions and concerns come. Timing couldn't be worse, with Steve working minimal hours, taking two weeks off work with no pay won't be easy. Teenage issues are abounding at our house, can I leave my children and let them figure things out for awhile, my two greatest disciples God has given me? Marriage is tough and ours has had a shake up with the last month of craziness, is it o.k. to put the relationship on pause while I go play "nurse"? And the health issues. This isn't like going to Katrina in all of the filth and contamination that happened, this is a filthy and dirty country, with poverty, disease and sickness already...no FDA or CDC keeping things in check the rest of the year.

The question I heard discussed most by people around me was the "why". "So sad, and so senseless" this massive destruction and pain. Some would say "hey, it's a good thing- now developed countries will come in, rebuild, and Haiti will be better off". Some would say "sad but oh well, Haiti doesn't matter that much". Jesus had words for the people of Jerusalem who wondered "why, whose fault is it, did they get what they deserved" when a similar (albeit smaller) tragedy happened- a tower at the pool of Siloam fell and killed 18 people senselessly- and Jesus dared to say "Take heed". Check it out:

"Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish." Luke 13:4-5

Do I dare say that we all should take heed? As we cruise around in our daily life, and push God to the way side, how long will He be patient with our neglect? Please don't misunderstand and think I am pointing a finger at Haiti or anyone who deals with what seems like meaningless loss and suffering. I am simply asking- have we prepared our hearts for the Creator of the Universe to test them, and when we see His hand, do we repent and say- "Oh, God...I am dust"?

John McArthur wrote in a commentary on Luke 13: "The question in (the peoples) minds was regarding the connection between calamity and iniquity ("more guilty"). Jesus responded by saying that such calamity was not God's way to single out an especially evil group for death, but as a means of warning to ALL sinners. Calamitous judgment was eventually coming to all if they did not repent."

Should we all take a moment to reflect on the condition of our hearts and offering ourselves up to the cleansing and refining work of God in our lives? We could get in a car accident today, struck with cancer tomorrow, or lose a baby...just like that. Can we still trust that He is sovereign, just and mighty- in the face of calamity?
Whoa- just call me Debbie Downer. But right after this Jesus- boosted my spirit. In context, right after Jesus said the above words, He told a story about a fig tree that wasn't giving any fruit, and hadn't for years. Someone said the fig tree owner should just chop that stupid tree down, but the Tree Owner said, "Let it alone, sir, for one more year, and I will dig around it and put in fertilizer, and if it bears fruit next year, fine; but if not, cut it down." (Luke 13:8-9) Yet another example of the extreme patience and grace of our loving Father. He gives us warning after warning that He is REAL...then He patiently waits for us to wise up.

Oh, Lord- fertilize and tend the soil of my heart. Help us all to repent from our evil ways and bear beautiful fruit for You- pretty to look at, healthy for the communities we live in, and GOOD for the people of this world.

Tomorrow, I will start the paperwork to get to Haiti. And we will see what God will do. God be with you, friends.