My hidden person...

What a hilarious week! Up, then down- then up again! Steve got a job! Woot woot! Full time, great place, great peeps- but it is temporary for a bit so just praying it turns into a permanent position. God knows, right? The weather was breathtakingly gorgeous here in the 'Couv and we filled the days with walks, and gardening, and more gardening. Loved every minute of it.

As I was potting seeds and bulbs yesterday, I was thanking God for all the ways He provides for us. Big ways and little ways, He provides abundantly. With this job, Steve even said we can keep our gym membership! I was like YES. I know, sounds weird, but it is something the kids and I love to do together. Plus, I would like to not feel like a beached whale when I am digging weeds up. Bahahaha! So as I am getting dirty and grinning at the funny ways of God, He gives me another funny. Well, it wasn't so much funny but a "Say What???" moment.

Background: I am doing a Colossians Bible study right now and love it. It's one of my favorite books, thanks to a great mentor I had years ago. The funniest thing though, is the author of this particular study spent a couple days in Colossians 3, then out of the blue pulls in Proverbs 31. Oh YESSSSS, ladies. How we all love that chapter of the Bible. I truly do love these passages, but I just wasn't expecting to open up my Colossians study and get thrown into Proverbs. But, oh- how my heart needed it.

Anyways, as I was digging and thinking, and digging and thinking- God popped this into my heart "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her... She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:10-12
What?! Umm...could you bring me a pretty little verse about the "lilies of the field" or "you are fearfully and wonderfully made"? What do you want me to do with THIS verse? Steve and I are doing great, why should I work on this?
Then another doozy..."Your adornment must not be merely external...but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." 1Peter 3:3-4
Nice, right? :) I guess now I have an excuse not to work out! Hehehehe

It was actually fantastic, and God gave me a distraction free afternoon to chew on it. Steve was totally having a heart attack over health care reform, Jordan was taking full advantage of my garden love to play games, and Jazz was off with a friend. I just kept thinking that if I worried less about getting things done and done RIGHT, and more about how I can show my husband my HEART, we would get along a lot better, and many of my insecurities just might disappear. If he could see the "hidden person" in me- the one that is precious in the sight of God, how would our married life look? Not that it's bad, but I think God was saying- "Girl, it could be so much BETTER." Oh, thank you, Lord for that!

Later that night, God gave me a wonderful time to spend with a dear sister in Christ, to hash over marriage, our hearts, and the concerns of life. The whole time, these passages kept running through my head as I looked at my sweet friend and just prayed that she would see herself as God sees her...precious...and that God's love for her would flow over into love for her husband. No matter how stinky our men can be- it doesn't change God's design for who WE are to be.

THEN- guess what I read today? Yep- another mind bender. This was more from the author's comments, but I felt like she was sitting on my porch, drinking a cup of tea and lovingly reminding me what I should be doing. She shared a story of being a little girl and telling her Mama how beautiful she thought she was. Her mom was elbow deep in dishwater, and the author has no idea what her mother was wearing- but she remembers her mama saying " You just think I'm pretty because I'm you're mommy." And the author realizes now- it was her mother's HEART that she loved. So sweet, yes? The author's conclusion is so great, I have to share it:
"If a wife- or a potential wife, wants a husband to love her, perhaps she should be prepared to do more than care for children, pay the bills or accomplish specific jobs each day. Perhaps we should place higher value on meeting with God every day. He's the only one who can create in us a beauty that's imperishable. Meeting with a trainer, carving out time to get our bodies in shape has merit. Yet, meeting with God is free and has greater merit...I want to be like this; to have what Peter describes as 'the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit'. What about you?" (Debbie Taylor Williams "If God is in Control, why am I a Basket Case?" page 180)

What a question, yes? If you know me- the words gentle and quiet don't belong any where near my character traits. But I don't think God means we all have to be soft and cuddly. We all need to have PEACE, and that joy that transcends all understanding. We have all met those people that you just want to be around...because it feels good. How nice would it be to know that your husband wants to be near you...just because your quiet spirit "feels good" to be around?

Chew on it, and do something with it. And don't throw tomatoes at me if you decide you hate it. It's God's word...so throw tomatoes at Him. He can take it. :) But He might throw back!

Do you think I get bonus points with Steve if I listen to the Bible on my Zune AND drag my big buns up and down the stair climber?

I am finally glad to be "farsighted".

Just another day God has blessed me with living in. I woke with a peace that doesn't make sense, and was so glad to live in a country where I can choose and plan what to do each day, where I can have God's Word in every room of the house, and am free to worship and post all the blogs I want on Jesus's goodness. We used Skype last night to web-cam with my family in Vietnam, and seeing their faces just made me miss them even more, and feel so afraid that none on them know Jesus. I hate feeling afraid, but sometimes it gets the better of me. (I know, I know- feelings stink- and I remember that, but unfortunately they are unavoidable. I just have to control how I let them affect my actions, right?)Pray if you think of it, that they would receive Jesus, and live forever with us. They are some of the best, coolest, most loving people I have ever met- but they do it all to "earn" heaven, and I don't know how to show them that is impossible. My mom is taking them to a Christian church on Sunday, to visit a pastor friend of hers- would they hear it! They try to mix Buddha and Jesus- and Jesus can not be mixed!
Anyways, not what I planned to write about this morning, but covet your prayers for the Phan family in Long An, Vietnam.

Now- about this "farsighted" business. I am finishing up a study on the Proverbs 31 Woman- yeah, bleck. Unfortunately, I am continually drawn to her story, and although many Christian women I know profess to thinking that the text describes a fictitious woman and it is an unreachable ideal, a passage that makes them feel inferior- I have always disagreed. I doubt I will ever attain to her level of love and work, but I want to TRY. I have known women who seem to bear all her attributes, maybe not every day, but on most of them. And to be that- to be such a God-lover, your children and husband rise up and call you blessed. Wow. I can hear "Eye of the Tiger" playing in the background and I want to run up the courthouse stairs. Hehehehe So, this morning the study said "A Godly woman is farsighted." Now, if you have known me long enough, you know I have this little issue with PLANNING. I tend to plan years in advance, plan YOUR years in advance, and need a schedule, a route, and a course of action for everything I do. Not such a good thing, so I thought. But after reading this, I was encouraged that if I could direct some of that energy into more intentional action towards my plan, and less worrying- I might not be too far off the mark. This Proverbs lady did not fear for her household because her PREPARATIONS and PROVISIONS had provided for them. Very cool, yes? It was encouraging to know that I don't have to throw all my plans out the window and "just trust God"- He wants me to plan and prepare to my heart's content- yet not get bent out of shame when He changes those plans. Can I? I am going to try. Now tomorrow's lesson is another story- "A Godly woman is elegant." Blah. :)
"She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet." Proverbs 31:21