"Spray and Pray"...Machine guns and love, what a combo!

Have I mentioned lately that I love my husband? Even though half the time I drive him crazy (alright, alright- 75% of the time), he never fails to give me exactly what I need.

I was fretting as usual last week when Steve calmly turned to me and said plainly, "Spray and pray, baby. Spray and pray." Say what? Momentarily speechless (it does happen), I just stared at him and he just looked back at the road and continued driving along his merry way.

Well, really. I had to ask for an explanation and once I got it, I just laughed out loud. Apparently, Steve had hear this phrase years ago about epic machine gun battles. When you are pinned down and have nothing else you can do, you just stick your arm out of the hideout and "spray" bullets and "pray" you hit something. Steve felt that this would be the most appropriate thing to say to me in the midst of my rantings, and it worked. Now, I haven't decided if he just wanted to startle me into silence so he could turn up the radio without being rude- or if he actually had thought it was the perfect motto for me. I never can tell with this guy. But what I can say...was yet again, it was just what I needed to hear.

As we talked about the idea, he reminded me that ultimately all my worrying for others was doing no one any good. Myself, my family, or the hurting. He said that if I would just "spray" all the love that I COULD out on every person I connected with each day, and "pray" that God would do what He wanted with that love...guaranteed everything would work out just dandy. I love that burly man. Leave it to him to identify heavy gunfire with love and kindness! So good.

Oh, the peace that settled on my heart that day. And ever since, when I start to panic and try to plan WHAT I need to do to make a difference, God just gently reminds me to "Spray and Pray, baby."

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves....Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need." Romans 12:9-13

It sure makes everything else seem small....

I just figured out why I love country music...and don't start laughing. Truly, the lyrics are WISE. Really. Now, not the "She thinks my Tractor's Sexy" or "Friends in Low Places" kind of songs. But there are some, that just make sense.

I have been having my pity party all week: sick body, sick kid, heart broken over dogs and praying for hurting unborn babies...and my husband has been incredible. Marriage is the ultimate test of love and sacrifice. And I think sometimes of faith and hope too. There have been lots of times over the last 15 years when I have felt hopeless in this marriage, but when I am honest- more often I have taken this man God gave me for granted. And I don't want to anymore. I could hear it in his voice last night- his desire to give me everything I want, against his desire to give me what I need. He sees me sad about my pups, and he wants to fix it- even though he already has made up his mind. He was on the verge of saying I could keep Duke, and he was there again today. As much as he doesn't want to, thinks it is too much for us, etc etc- he would rather go back on what he knows than to see me sad. It made me think of another story like that, and so I read Genesis 16 today. I realized where Abram went wrong..."Abram agreed to what Sarai said." Hehehehehe Hear the feminists roar! Now, by definition, I would be called a feminist, but I am also a realist. I know how easily I can manipulate my husband using his basic desire to love and please me. It's sad, but true. How do you think I have gotten so many horses, dogs, debt and treats? :)Last night I realized that I have the greatest husband in the world. He really would walk through hot coals for me. Steve understands me like no one else, and wants me to be happy more than anyone else. And when I think about that, it makes all the other issues in our life pale in comparison. The "mountain" really does turn in to a "grain of sand". That brings us back to why I love country music. Check out these lyrics, I have also kindly posted the song on my playlist so you can listen to them now:
"While you’re sitting around thinking ‘bout what you can’t change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time’s flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count ‘cause you can’t get it back

Sometimes that mountain you’ve been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you’ve been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands

Oh, and when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small!" Carrie Underwood

Now, this doesn't mean I can't use all my manipulative genius to get Steve to bungee jump with me next spring, does it?

God be with you married people tonight- don't take one second for granted. You don't know when it might be your last here.
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

This is my honey in all his burly-ness. Gotta love this guy. :)

Happy Father's Day.

"He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." ~Clarence Budington Kelland

I am sitting here listening to my husband laugh his head off playing games with Jordan, looking at beautiful pictures my daughter took for me of our garden, and feeling totally blessed. These are the days that get you through all the rest.

Spending way too much time at the Farmers Market (you know it is bad when the Shave Ice Lady knows your first name, where you went to school, where you work, and what flavors you love and hate), but this morning was especially nice. The kids wanted to stay for youth group, so Steve and I snuck away for a little wandering. Actually, Steve calls it "waddling". He says our whole family "waddles" as we meander along looking at things, swerving unexpectedly, bumping into each other at a deliciously leisurely pace. For some reason I think that doesn't sound very complimentary, but the expression stuck. So we "waddled" around downtown, the market, Esther Short Park- enjoying eachother's company.

I find it hilarious that I can get so frustrated at a man who truly loves so much. What a brat I can be. Steve is just an all around fantastic person, and even in the worst moments, he does the best things. I am blessed to be his wife, and even more blessed to watch him be a father to our children. God bless him all his days, help him walk in your ways, and show him how to leave the legacy he so much desires to- children who grow up to know and love Jesus.

“Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.” -Ruth E. Renkel

(BTW: All these photos are from my girl. Isn't she a beautiful heart?)

A Ridiculous Day.

Today was full of ridiculous moments, and I can't help thinking I am the only one who has them.

I find it ridiculous that I am positively ecstatic and joyful, just because the sun came out for an hour, but I am.

I find it ridiculous that people come to the doctor's office to get medications instilled in their vein, and get angry that you are going to poke them with a needle and don't have t.v. for them to watch while they are waiting. How did you think I was going to get the meds into your vein, and do I look like the front desk clerk at the Hilton?

I find it even more ridiculous that people are PAID WELL to work and be at their jobs, and yet every single day I hear nothing but whining and gripping from some.

I find it ridiculous that flowers can truly make me feel relaxed.

I find it ridiculous that even without the sunshine, I think I would love spring and summer so much because of the delicious berries!







I find it ridiculous that the a fore mentioned berries are so horribly expensive the rest of the year. The lovely bowl of cherries you see would have cost me over $32 at Safeway two months ago, and today I can get them for the wonderfully low price of $8. Wahoo!

I find it ridiculous that my hands don't work right. I must have dropped a dozen things today, including needles, wound dressings, iv tubing, and I even smashed a coworker in the door so hard he thought his arm was broken. Ridiculous.

I could go on and on, but it was just a ridiculous day. And I loved it. I needed a reminder to laugh at myself, and that is what I got. I recieved sad news a few days ago, that the "forever home" I sold one of my horses to has already sold her for a profit. Liars. I know it is their right, but it feels wrong when they tell you a great story to get you to sell the horse to them, and then turn out to be a trader. In some ways I was relieved to have a very clear "no" from God regarding ever getting my sweet baby back. Now that she is gone from my contact, maybe I will stop thinking about her everyday and hoping I might have her again. So it was a good "God Stop" in a lot of ways, but it was also very depressing. Perfect time for a ridiculous day to come. Thank God for weird coworkers, crabby patients, savory fruit, and another day of breathing and living. Hope you have a ridiculous Tuesday.