Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Sometimes "longing" can be bearable...

I am going to say it. I am actually excited for autumn. I know, miracles do happen. The clincher was last Sunday. I moved my horses from their summer paddocks into the big barn so they would nice and mud free, and it finally hit me. The leaves changing, the wooly coats and long manes to warm my hands in, the coziness of their stalls and winter blankets. There are some things about fall that can put a smile on my face. Even if the list is short.

I have been spending lots of time with my boy and the book of Philippians the last few days, not necessarily at the same time. The more time I spend with Jordan, the more I "long" for additional time and memories. He is such an amazing person, and so funny. I think about the fact that in two years so much will change, and I LONG to make it stay the same. I see his young man face and I long for the chubby cheeks and quick smile of elementary days.

The dictionary defines longing as : a strong, persistent desire or craving, especially for something unattainable or distant. I crave so many things, so many people that I love and can't see. In Philippians, Paul "longs" for his "family" too. To want to see someone's face so much, and be separated by distance, time, or sin is just terrible. Being the pessimist that I naturally am, I can hang out in that "longing" stage for far too long. But God is so faithful. He keeps trying to spank the snot out of my bad attitude, and remind me that in the midst of my "longing", I can rejoice and be glad. For He is always near.

Check it out, Pauly just gets done saying how he loves and longs for some peeps and pleading with them to love one another, he even calls them his "joy and crown". Then he states:
" Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your reasonableness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7

Would he say that if he didn't think we could do it? Is it possible to long for something and still "rejoice" in the Lord and be at peace? After reading that- I would have to say a resounding YES! And I am so glad God didn't end the instruction there.

Right after that passage, I think God tells us exactly how to cultivate an attitude of joy and peace, rather than one of anxiety and cravings:
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things... And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9

Such a nice feeling. I was struggling with angst and discouragement this morning, and yet- the minute I opened up the Book, and saw those words again...peace came. Thank you, Papa. For always meeting us right where we need You. For giving us peace in the turmoil, and the ability to endure when we crave. And not only to endure, but to rejoice- knowing that someday every desire will be FULLY satisfied in You.

I am going to hug that man child of mine and relish every minute we have, reliving all the great memories of the time I have had with him. I will long for him with a joyful heart all my earthly days, because God blessed me like crazy when He made me Jordan's mother...and that's not a bad thing when I couple my desire with the peace of my Savior. No matter where God takes my boy, he will always have my heart so he won't really be very far away. And I am so glad.
(Totally random pictures. I don't get as many photo ops with Jordan- unless you want to see a hundred shots of him in front of the computer playing Starcraft. I have lots of those!)

1 comment:

Doanz said...


This song was sent to me by a dear soul after reading this post. So perfectly timed. Thank you, Lord, for our "little boys".