It is always amazing to realize how short our time is here. This last week has just reinforced to me how important it is to make each day count. Whether it was from seeing the cherry blossoms disappear far too quickly,talking about college and life after graduation next year with my kids, or finding out a brother in Christ died unexpectedly Tuesday morning; I just keep thinking- Lord, help me make it count.
I can't put all my feelings into words yet regarding the death of someone so special, but a dear friend read a piece of Psalm 90 today and it brought such comfort:
"The years of our life are seventy,
or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone, and we fly away...
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom...
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
and for as many years as we have seen evil." Psalm 90:10-15 (abbreviated)
I was so distracted from the sermon because I just kept hearing these words over and over in my head- how much I want to gain a "heart of wisdom" and "rejoice" in the afflictions of life.
I am a little slow, but God just won't stop driving one point home- that I NEED Him. My focus shouldn't even be on His grace, or love or right living- but the whole purpose of this life is to KNOW God. To have a relationship with Him and to keep it all in perspective. It was the best message I have heard in a long time, and maybe it's simply because I was listening. This life is just a blip. I don't want to waste a minute of it.
Thank you, Lord, for your words that bring peace amid grief. Thank you that you want to know us, and once we choose you- our future is secure and we will be "GLAD for as many days" as we have hurt, for "as many years as we have seen evil."
Photos were just a glimpse of what the last couple weeks have been full of- flowers and horses. I realized the other day, as I heard my kiddos sounding WISE and mature for the first time in awhile, how blessed I am to know them. Everyone loves their kids, but I am so glad that I can honestly say I LIKE them. I have been trying to bite my tongue the last few months as I watch them maneuver this life and knowing that they are the ones who will have to live with the choices they make, I am still so happy with the people they are becoming. This week has just reminded me that I can't wait to tell them that. I never know if I will have tomorrow, so I want to be sure the first words they hear from me in the morning and the last ones before they go to bed are "I like you, and I am so proud of you." Not because they do it right all the time, but because they never quit trying. Oh, thank you, Father, for the reminders of what matters.
"Disappointment- His Appointment";
change one letter, then I see
that the thwarting of my purpose
is God's better choice for me.
His appointment must be blessing
though it may come in disguise;
for the end, from the beginning,
open to His vision lies.
Whose The Lord who loves me best,
understands and knows me fully,
who my faith and love would test.
For like loving earthly parents
He rejoices when He knows
that His child accepts unquestioned
all that from His wisdom flows.
"Disappointment- His Appointment";
no good things will He withhold.
From denials oft we gather
treasures of His love untold.
Well He knows each broken purpose
leads to a fuller, deeper trust,
and the end of all His dealings
proves our God is wise and just.
Lord I take it then as such,
like clay in the hands of the potter
yielding wholly to His touch.
My life's plan is all His molding;
not one single choice is mine.
Let me answer unrepining,
"Father, not my will, but Thine."
-Author Unknown, taken from As Silver Refined, Kay Arthur