June 2012...not possible. It's raining, it's cold, and I'm not ready to be 6 months into a year that came too fast. We have spent the last month with proms, and graduations, and goodbyes to so many things. I just wanted to stick my head in the sand and pretend it all wasn't happening.
Thinking about Jordan and Jasmine both being seniors next year, I have felt like this summer needed to be the best, most amazing yet...and I had no idea how to make it happen. Then I realized I don't need to "make" it great. It will be great just because we will be together. Sure we have said goodbye to childhood games, friends who have grown up, family that has chosen to move on, school, etc. etc. This next year there won't be any "Danny" running over to hang out or talk about zombies. There won't be as many bike rides to the country store or free days to trail ride with a best friend for hours. Work will take the time of video gaming, and school will mean something entirely different when you know the grades are part of your college transcript. Bur we will also say "Hello!" to new friends, and new experiences, and all new moments where God just blows our socks off.
Yesterday I picked up my phone and saw a text message that completely changed my focus. It was my beautiful young friend in a hospital gown, holding her "moments old" newborn son. I remember that moment so vividly for myself- the first time you hold your "heart" in your arms- you look into the eyes of another person and realize THIS was why it was all worth it. I saw in her smile all this next season is going to bring- the adventure of life and the amazing privilege of sharing God's love and story every chance we get. To hold the hand of a sweet, innocent child who is just figuring it out, or kiss the cheek of an 87 year old dear lady as she prepares to see Jesus face to face. I will spend hours listening to the hurts and successes of my high school girls, and get the opportunity to plan and encourage the young men around me to live courageously. I will fall, and I will watch those around me fall. I will succeed at times too, and rejoice with those around me who win. That's the life I get to live, and it is such a blessing.
King David fascinates me and I have spent the last month just reading his story and his songs. It is shocking yet comforting to remember how badly he screwed up, and yet how much God still loved him and protected him. He lied, he cheated, he womanized, he was a "bad father" at times...and yet, listen to his last recorded words:
"“If my house were not right with God,
surely he would not have made with me an everlasting covenant,
arranged and secured in every part;
surely he would not bring to fruition my salvation
and grant me my every desire." 2 Samuel 23:5
Ahhh...what a comfort it is to know that in spite of where I fall short, Jesus more than makes up the difference. He is my rock, my shield and my redeemer. He is my salvation and my song. And because of that, I can laugh at the days to come, and just LIVE a little. It's going to be great.
|All photos credited to Kalahan Kayla Photography She is amazing!|