One amazing thing about living in the Northwest...you have a guaranteed reminder every couple of months that life goes on.
Another month of birthdays and parties, of work and family. Times of joy and other times of feeling so toxic I am ashamed of myself.
As we all know, I love pictures. I don't even have to know the people in them, I just love looking at the still capture of a moment. That pause and the opportunity to imagine all the story around that one second of time. My dad still teases me on the fact that with all the video cameras out there, I still would rather spend hours looking at a photo. But I can't help it. I love the moment.
As I looked back on this last month, I realized my inward feelings were reflected in my outward life. Most of the photos I took were blurry, out of focus and full of too much action.
But as I whined to myself, I realized I was missing the entire point. The whole reason I love pictures and take the insane number that I do...because they give me a glimpse into the lives of people. People made in God's image with his good plan in place for them. I LOVE my people, and I LOVE this life of mine. Blurs and all.
I sat in my Bible Study and griped to the sweet ladies who put up with me, and as I listened to myself, I realized how selfish I can be. Looking for all the things that should be done great FOR me, I was missing out on being the "great" in someone else's moment. God gives us so much in this life, and a short window of time that we can impact this world for His glory. Sitting around thinking He can't use me because I mess things up is such a waste. Because the truth is, He isn't handicapped by my inadequacy. Really and truly. My weakness is not the "straw that broke the camel's back" for the Creator of the Universe. Bahahaha! What a relief that is!
In my Bible Study we are focusing on God's goodness, and I can't stop equating that repeatedly to God's GRACE. If His grace truly is enough for me...why do I want so many other things? Things I can't control or change anyways?
Our study keeps bringing me back to Psalm 36. The beginning of that passage is crazy harsh...but truly shows the root of my dissatisfaction. SIN. I can't bring myself to post the first 4 verses because it can be me far too often. Selfishness, pride, failing to "do good" when I could. So sad. You can read it for yourself here, but in verse 5, REDEMPTION.
It reminds us that "Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,your justice like the great deep."
We can probably all sing that along with Third Day, but it goes on to say:
"People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light." Psalm 36:7a-9
Wow. If we all really believed that. How different would today look?
God's grace and goodness is more than enough for me. Everything necessary is right there...in Him. Sure, I am going to still have days where I stay buried in bed all day and play Candy Crush until my eyes cross. But Lord, please make those days fewer and farther in between the AMAZING ones where the things of this life dim a bit, and your GRACE grows bigger before our eyes...so that we can shine that light and love to everyone we meet.
"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither
do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on
its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house." Matthew 5:14
Go shine bright (and not like a diamond, Rihanna) for the peeps in your "house", friend.