Restarting this blog as it is the easiest way to journal for my grandie girls:
We have finished our Christmas decorating and pulling Spencer's name off his stocking to "re-purpose" it for Emery was harder than I expected. Being the nostalgic sap I am, I initially had planned to just make EB her own and save Spencer's. But then I decided it's just a stocking and I'm too lazy to crochet a whole new one when I have a perfectly good one to use. And as hard as it was, it also felt good to "feel all the feelings", which ahs been our catch phrase lately.
I considered how we lost someone by choice, but how many of my dear friends are missing family members from death or distance this Christmas. Dads who aren't here anymore, wives, grown up children and babies that will be missed every Christmas from now until Jesus comes back. And it changed my perspective. It helped me be thankful for the moments I do have, and reminded me to pray. Pray for the hearts of my friends, and I can think of so many, who "feel all the feelings" of missed loved ones every day, but especially this season. There's a magical thing about Christmas, and I know I sound like a fruitcake, but it's just true. I'm praying you feel it this year, my friends. Loss and all- that you feel the magic of believing in the Son of God, who came to earth as a little baby, to fight the greatest battle that ever endangered your eternity... and won it. For you.
Brielle and I were hanging lights outside last week and as we fiddled with cords and tried covering the bushes under the window, she asked me why God doesn't talk. She can't hear him. I told her but He does talk- through His Word. And when we read the Bible, we hear His "voice". She considered it and said it doesn't count because she wants to hear His "actual voice, Nay Nay."
I thought about how much I have been needing to hear His voice lately and what a comfort it is, but how do I explain what I hear to this little 4 year old.
I want to remember this moment forever. I told her I hear God every day and all I have to do is listen. I said "Listen hard! Close your eyes, and hear it? Right now when I stop listening to everything else and I listen hard to God I can hear Him! He is saying to me "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, whoever believes in Him, will not perish but have everlasting LIFE! Oh, I love hearing His voice through what He told me in the Bible. Do you hear it?"
I opened my eyes to the most beautiful sight. Standing in front of the window, Christmas lights on the ground and forgotten for the time- my grandie girl had her little face scrunched up in thought, and her hands lifted high into the air. She was "listening hard" with all she could. Brielle's little face broke into a grin and with arms up, her eyes popped open and she shouted "I hear it! I hear Him too, Nay Nay! It's wonderful!"
Bahaahaha! Call me crazy. But I never want to forget that moment. Keep stinkin' Santa and the "Elf on the Shelf" if you want. Imagining with your little ones the voice of God and letting them feel the wonder of THAT- man, it's better than anything. Lord, please please let her always hear You. Help her to never set aside "listening hard" for your voice in her heart, spoken through the verses we read her and the studying she does of your Word. Keep the magic in us, Lord. The magic that loves You, that wants to hear You, and that comes from the Holy Spirit in us.
Merriest of Christmas, my friends. Don't let it stay bittersweet this year, as the struggles of life and loss threatens to steal your joy or your childlike faith. Trust in the process, trust in the King of kings.
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6