The dark skies and rain today is so fitting. School starts on Wednesday, Fall starts in two weeks, and the sweetness of entire weeks of sunshine and fun with my kids all day long is over. It actually feels good to thank God for the dreariness of today-because it reminds me that "the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD."
The Felida Youth had an awesome End of Year River Day. I think everyone had a blast riding the SeaDoo, swimming in the pool, relaxing in the hot tub, and basking on such a beautiful piece of property it was almost surreal. The weather was perfect, and God was present. It was great to see the fun and spend one last lazy summer day with all of them. Note to self though- always bring a swimsuit, or YOU WILL be thrown in.
That was Wednesday, and I was thinking last night how much I take God's goodness and sovereignty for granted. Friday was such a bummer day, the stress of life plus having a patient I was working on code and bleed out minutes after he was talking to me was heartbreaking. And as I processed everything, I realized how ungrateful I am. As Job said, "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" Job 2:10 Why do I so easily forget- one day I am running around the football field wanting to shout praises to God, and the next week I am asking God "Why?" when He allows troubles. I think a big part of it is I know a lot of my junk I deserve, because of the consequence of my own sin. So it is hard to believe that God is in control even of that. Ridiculous, I know. Yes, sometimes I get whooped for my stupid mistakes, but ultimately, because of Jesus- my wonderful, glorious Jesus, I am forgiven and FREE. Nothing can and should take away the complete joy and peace that comes with knowing my future is secure.
"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him." Romans 4:7-8
If nothing else, watching that man die suddenly yesterday reminded me of how incredibly fragile this life is... and how short. I need to stop wasting time with regret and worry, and start living like this minute were my last. To be hideously specific- if I had an aortic aneurysm that I knew was going to blow out in the next 5 minutes, would I really be worrying about the bills getting paid, car troubles, what classes my kids are going to be in, who their friends are, how much weight I need to lose...ecetera, ecetera? Or would I be holding every person I see tight, telling them how MUCH Jesus loves them and died for them- and PLEASE accept Him, so they can meet me on the other side? Because as I watched that man be coded, and cried over the loss his family would feel- that was the only thing I could think of.
"But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him." 1 Thessalonians 5:8-10
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