Thursday, September 17, 2009

I still believe...

"Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:4-5

With illness and sadness that has drained me so fully this week, it is amazing to me that God still has a way up His sleeve to make me smile. I truly haven't been able to find a thing to say this week- good or bad. I know...amazing for motor mouth, Renee. But getting through the "motions" of each day was the best I could do. Then Jo and I came down with these cruddy colds, and I found I couldn't push through anymore. That's when God brought me a smile.

He brought it in the form of a stranger really. You see, we put our dogs up for new homes this week. LONG STORY, and I can't give details just yet without bawling again. So briefly, after 6 months of battles between Steve and I over the pros and cons of having country dogs in a ridiculously small neighborhood with no yard, he finally decided we could not fight about it another day. So this week we gave Samson to a homeschooling family with 5 children and tons of love to share. I knew that it was the right decision, felt that God provided the family, but couldn't control my tears and grief. It seems ridiculous to love your pets so much- but I have literally watched my home, my horses, and now my dogs disappear, and no matter how much I try to keep my focus on the reasons, it still breaks my heart. The only one I get to keep is the rat chihuahua and he is the one I would gladly part with!

But now I want to share with you why I can smile. Check out this excerpt from the email I got this afternoon, as I was wandering around my house feeling sorry for myself and nursing my sick kiddo:
"I wanted to thank you through our Lord Jesus Christ--something I wish I would have known before I had come down--the fact that He is OUR Lord. His ways are not our ways! I had prayed and asked for another dog and to be honest the way He brought Samson was so providential (the strings of His sovereignty). I have a feeling it was more about meeting you, and hopefully someday, your family too. Someday I will go through the story with you Renee--truly God is good--and to see His hands work in even the seemingly small things as a dog is amazing and so full of grace and mercy. May we give Him the glory and praise he is due--if that is possible this side of heaven? May His great name be magnified in my heart, may our love for Him grow and bubble forth in great praise.
This is just a quick email though--I will email pictures soon too. I look forward to many more conversations or emails with you Renee."

Wow! Who talks like that? Not a faker Christian, I can assure you! Oh, I truly jumped for joy when I read that, and haven't stopped grinning. I don't know how she figured out we shared the same Lord, but I am so glad to have found another sister in Christ, and know I can rest assured that she was honest with me about her intentions for Samson, and she will love him and care for him not because she is a PETA lover but because she is a JESUS lover. It gave us all such peace, we have read the email over again and again, relishing the fact that God used the situation to bless both families, them with a wonderful, SWEET dog, and us with the knowledge that even in the tough stuff- God is on His throne and in control. Oh, thank you, Father for that!

Maybe I will actually be able to make it through tomorrow without tears if I can remember my new friend's truthful words: :"Truly God is good-to see His hands AMAZING... May His great name be magnified in my heart, may our love for Him grow and bubble forth in great praise."

1 comment:

Nikki said...

I'm super sorry. :) Now I know why you haven't been around. I'm sorry about your doggy. :( I'll be thinking of you. At least you have a good confirmation that God was involved. That always helps the heart.