Monday, February 22, 2010
"Umm..yeah. They're mine."
Ever embarrassed to admit that something belongs to you? Clunker car, bad shoes, crazy kids? Something happened, something was said and you wish for just one minute you were someone else? Whatever it might be- sometimes we all feel like we are coming up short. If you haven't ever felt like that, please don't tell me because then I will have to try harder to like you.
This last week was one where I was constantly trying to get ahead of the curve, running as hard as I could- but when I looked up, I was still miles from the bend in the road. I felt a lot like Katherine Brooke in Anne of Green Gables when she said, "There is no bend in my road, Anne. I can see it stretching straight out in front of me to the skyline". Teen years are upon me and I feel like they are going to last forever. I keep thinking where is my sweet, goofy daughter, where is my lover boy son? That's when God reminded me that the real problem is my focus. Where my eyes are.
Living is such a chore some days, and such a beautiful thing other days. Our pastor, Scott Roberson, said something Sunday that really struck my tired heart and reminded me that there IS a bend in my road soon, and my final destination is going to be amazing. Talking about how frustrating it is to be human, to be so inconsistent- he said "God's faithfulness continues even when our faith falters." I can beat myself to a pulp over my lack of faith, my sins, my failings- but God's grace is more than sufficient to cover all of that. Instead of feeling discouraged when I look at my goofs, I could be ENCOURAGED when I look at God's GLORY. He reminded us of the story of Abram- the one where he pawned his beloved Sarai off to Pharaoh's harem to save his own tail. Nice, right? He was afraid to tell them that she was his wife because he thought they would want her so bad they would kill him to get her. (She must have been quite the hottie at 75 years of age for him to be worrying about that.) If I wrote that history, I would be sure Abram got at least 50 lashes for being such a loser...and maybe kicked in the "vitals" by a donkey- just for good measure. Wanna know how God let that story play out? "He treated Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, menservants and maidservants, and camels." (Genesis 12:16)
SERIOUSLY? Abram gets rich because he is pretending to be her brother? You have GOT to be kidding me! Nope, that is exactly what happened. Once Abram gets Sarai back, thanks to God's mighty hand of course- it literally says "Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold." (Genesis 13:2) Amazing, I know. In the midst of our doubts and fears, God chooses to bless and protect us. Oh, that does my heart good. When I choose to look at the dangers and respond in fear- I totally mess things up. But God can and does BLESS me anyway. Wow...and wow. Thank you, Father for that amazing reminder. Thank you for putting my focus back on your goodness, your faithfulness and your never ending love. Thank you that when the obstacles of life want to derail my hope- all I have to do is look at You...and remember that You are consistent and ALWAYS GOOD. And thanks for the great laugh...if Abram can be that big of a goob and be called "righteous", maybe all my big "blow it moments" will still add up to me being called "beloved daughter". I like the way you wrote our story a lot better than the way I would have. :)
The photos are just to remind me that no matter what happens, no matter how old they get- my kids will always be totally incredible!