Contradictory Life...

"Here we all are...

Witnessing despair and delight 

  Tragedy and triumph

Here we all are...

Living an in-congruent and uncomfortable 

Beautiful and horrible contradictory life

Sorrowful yet rejoicing..." Tara Livesay

  
This was a blog post written by a missionary living in Haiti, working to save malnourished, dying babies every day. I feel like she has the right to feel this way, and my wildly ordinary life should never feel tragic, sorrowful or anything but normal. 

Yet, every day I see the beauty among the ashes. I see the pain in the struggle and the grace in the living. Is it weird that her words speak to our hearts? 

My daughter is off caring for her own husband and little baby. My son turns 18 in less than a week. We will no longer have "high schoolers" in a month with graduation looming, and Steve and I will likely be "empty-nesters" by autumn. The worry and the lack of control are always present. Yet the pleasure and joy their milestones bring is more so. 
"Despair and delight" all rolled into one. Thankfully rejoicing in spite of it all. 

" But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses...For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

The garden is coming to life! Beautiful... and exhausting. ;)

Promotion Day!

Goodbye Middle School!

Jasmine is finished with 8th grade and it has left the most surreal feeling in my heart. I feel so GLAD to be done with this part of parenting, and so proud of my girl...but at the same time, it's a sad thought to truly have said goodbye to everything that marks childhood. She really is a teenager now, on the verge of womanhood and all that entails.

I know I am being dramatic- my girl is still going to sit on her roof and write stories, and play silly childhood games with her best friends who don't care that she's suppose to be "mature". She will still want to ride bikes to the country store to buy disgusting candy and play Littlest Pet Shops with her cousin. But it is different now, and I can tell the changes are going to stay.

Today was a milestone, and a special one. Here's to not looking back and focusing on all the wonder of what lies ahead. It reminded me of when Jasmine was just a little girl, about 7 years old. I was having a terrible day- Nursing finals, homeschool testing, my car broke down when I was on my way to clinicals, just life. When I came home and was cleaning the dishes, my Jazz came up and handed me a card she made. She had written our memory verse from Bible time and a sweet note to me. Oh, how she blessed my heart that day:
"I love you, Mama. Always remember "With my God, I can scale any wall!" 2 Samuel 29:30

Oh, how I still treasure that card, spelling errors and all! Never forget, my friend- with our God, "we can scale any wall!"

"You, LORD, are my lamp; the LORD turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. “As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him." 2 Samuel 22:29-31