Just another day in paradise...

(My crew on Jasmine's birthday)

That song always makes me laugh because I think, "If this is paradise, heaven is going to blow me away!" Thank God for that promise! Had the perfect meltdown tonight...call me a 2 year old. Been an eventful week- found out our grand baby is going to be a sweet baby girl, kids are all working and going to school, and my man had surgery to remove a large tumor in his arm. All in all, 4 1/2 hours of sleep too many nights in a row can make a girl crazy. Just sayin'.

 Sometimes I look around and think there is no possible way we are going to survive. Literally. And then other times I think, life is pretty awesome. How is that? How can I feel such different emotions in the span of a few weeks. Hormones? Perspective? Environment?

(My grandbaby's first photo. Oh, the pictures we will take!)

I heard a wonderful testimony awhile back that reminded me that no matter how I FEEL, I will survive. The woman spoke about how when she found a lump, she knew it was cancer. And after the biopsy and the phone call from her doctor which confirmed her suspicions, she paced her living room simply praying to God: "I love you. And I trust you...I love you. And I trust you."

Nothing I go through in a week comes close to a life and death struggle. It's more about driving over 100 miles in a day taking teens to school, to work, and doing my job seeing patients. It's more about being dissatisfied with what kind of mother and wife I think I SHOULD be, when the reality will never measure up. If this dear sister can say in the face of mortality: "Lord, I love you and I trust you", why can't I?

It was just so encouraging to remember this in light of my total "crying-asking to die-moaning-throwing myself on the bathroom floor" freak out. Of course, I found it encouraging AFTER I ate some humble pie and had to apologize to my family and my dog for my ridiculous behavior. It is still to be determined if the dog will forgive me. So now, I am ready to stay the course. Now, I am going to say "I love you. And I trust you. Lord, I love you. And I trust you."
"I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.
For what you have done I will always praise you in the presence of your faithful people.
 And I will hope in your name, for your name is good." Psalm 52:7-9

(Jasmine and Spencer are always willing to clean and help out. They make a good team.)

Fathers make the World a better place.

 
What a wild summer! Finally with the cool, crisp air and the feeling of autumn, I can honestly say I am thankful for fresh beginnings and each new day.

I was thinking about my dear husband this morning and couldn't help but wonder at the faithful man he is. This summer above all others has given us reason to question everything we believe, stand for. The quality of our hearts, the expected struggles of a family. This summer gave us the perfect opportunity to be disappointed in one of our kids, and even to throw in the towel if we wanted to. What amazes me, is that my guy never even considered it. No matter how hard it has been, he just pushes forward and chooses to LOVE all of us. No strings attached. I adore him for that.

This old county song by George Strait fits so perfectly. The more I look at the young people who use to be my babies, the more I just love them for everything they are, everything they aren't, and everything they will be. I can't help it, and I wouldn't want to love them any other way.

Our Father in Heaven loves families. He knows that being in one means things get rough, we get irritated, and it can get ugly. But He WANTS us in families because that is where we see Jesus best.
 
 A Father's Love - George Strait
I got sent home from school one day with a shiner on my eye ,
Fighting was against the rules and it didn't matter why.
When Dad got home I told that story just like I'd rehearsed
Then stood there on those trembling knees and waited for the worst

And he said, "Let me tell you a secret, about a father's love.
A secret that my daddy said was just between us-
He said, daddies don't just love their children every now and then
It's a love without end, amen, its a love without end, amen".

When I became a father in the spring of 81
There was no doubt that stubborn boy was just like my father's son .
And when I thought my patience had been tested to the end
I took my daddy's secret and I passed it on to him

I said "daddies don't just love their children every now and then
It's a love without end, amen, its a love without end, amen."

Last night I dreamed I'd died and stood outside those pearly gates
When suddenly I realized there must be some mistake
If they know half the stuff I done they'll never let me in
Then somewhere from the other side I heard these words again:

And they said, "Let me tell you a secret, about a father's love
A secret that my daddy said was just between us
You see daddies don't just love their children every now and then
It's a love without end, amen, its a love without end, amen."

If you have time, read 2 Samuel 13 and remember how David felt about his son, Absalom, even after all he did wrong. Some think David was a loser Dad because he didn't deal justly with him- for all the mayhem and murder he committed. I think I understand a little how he felt. Being a parent is the greatest gift, and the greatest responsibility of life.  Lord, help us live up to that great calling.

Had to add on this photo blog- it was too funny. We all have great intentions, like George Strait... but I think I end up more often looking like this guy!! Click the link below:
World's Best Father Article 

Let the engine lead, not the caboose...

We always say that at our house when we can tell feelings are taking over. It was an analogy we heard years ago about our life being like a train. The engine is where the truth- FACTS- are, and feelings should be at the back of the train, in the caboose. They are great, they are necessary, but they shouldn't be what drives our purpose or our lives.

This week we have just been clinging to that. I heard a great quote, "Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling." We have just been choosing to forgive and find a new normal. Even when we don't feel like it.

Thank you, Lord for each new day- with no mistakes in it yet.

^"Search me, God, and know my heart test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24