I have had a chance to enjoy some delicious flowers, plants and even started building my rock wall. It has reminded me of my long standing hatred of cement. I said a little prayer for all the masons out there, working with cement is a nightmare. But it can be done, and will- so help me God.
The great thing about working in the yard is the quiet time you get. I think that is what my heart needed more than anything. Wednesday I was able to spend a few uninterrupted hours...just being quiet with God. And for me to be quiet- that's pretty much a miracle in itself.
As I worked I kept coming back to Hannah, Samuel's mother in the Bible. I had recently read her story, and love it of course. But the really cool thing about this lady was her relationship with God. More than being the mother of this great prophet, more than seeing a miracle happen with going from infertility to bearing three sons and two daughters, this was a lady who trusted and loved the LORD. Look at it with me:
"But to Hannah (her husband) gave a double portion because he loved her, and the LORD had closed her womb. And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival (her husband's other wife) kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat...In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life"...(has a chat with the priest, Eli, who was a goomba- just saying)...So the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad." 1Samuel 1 (I abbreviated for time, but go read that chapter. IT IS INCREDIBLE.)
Such a beautiful thing, yes? After you talk to God, is your face "no longer sad"? I realized the last few weeks even after I prayed, my worries kept hanging around. I still felt stressed and heavy. It took Hannah to show me why. I wasn't really giving all those worries to God. Sure, we chatted, but I didn't TRUST Him to work it out for my good and for His glory. Sad, stupid girl. :) After thinking on Hannah's shining face after her time with her LORD, I gave my junk up, and oh, happy day! Nothing changes necessarily, the earth didn't move and the sky open up with a big banner...but I just FELT better. SO COOL.
There is another lesson Hannah schooled me on this week, and it relates to my attitude too. See what you find:
"Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah lay with Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,saying, "Because I asked the LORD for him." When the man Elkanah went up with all his family to offer the annual sacrifice to the LORD and to fulfill his vow, Hannah did not go. She said to her husband, "After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the LORD, and he will live there always."... So the woman stayed at home and nursed her son until she had weaned him. After he was weaned, she took the boy with her, young as he was...and brought him to the house of the LORD at Shiloh....they brought the boy to Eli, and she said to him, "As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there." 1 Samuel 1
I use to read that story and feel sad for Hannah, but this time God showed me something so cool. Hannah knew what a beautiful blessing this boy was, and she committed to teaching and training him every minute he was with her. She didn't waste a second of her time to mother him by dragging him on the 2 week trek to the temple, she didn't leave him behind so she could go, she stayed in her tent, loving and kissing that boy and WORSHIPING God right in front of him. Did you see that in the last verse? Samuel worshiped God at the temple, because he already knew about the LORD from...guess who?
Oh, to be a mother like that! God honors our faithfulness to train and teach our children, even if we don't know what the future holds. She didn't get caught up amongst her garden without Samuel, she didn't ditch him for women's retreats or amazing careers outside the home, she didn't watch her soaps and gossip with her girlfriends in the caravan. :) She committed to Samuel one hundred percent, and didn't waste one precious minute of her blessed time as a mother.
Oh, Lord- help us to be like Hannah. To trust You like nobody else, to love our children and our husbands with a passion that doesn't run out, and to commit to living a life that honors You, God. And when we get done talking to You today, make our faces shine. <3
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