Loser Award

What do you get when you combine impatience, over-confidence, and just plain stupidity? You get the LOSER MOM AWARD. And that award belongs to me today! :( Why on earth I ever ignore my gut, I just will never know. Well, maybe I know, but I don't want to place it. I always tell myself that it's NOT really God saying, "Slow down, don't do it" or something of the sort.
So, yesterday was an absolutely fabulous day. I got to spend time in the morning with my dear friend, Karen, and talk until my jaw was on fire. Friends that listen and laugh with you any time are irreplacable, as I quickly found out while in AZ. Karen is one of those friends who is always up for anything, and I just love that. Then I got to go with my sweet daughter on not one, but TWO trail rides with our crazy little ponies that were actually very uneventful. We just enjoyed cruising along. Well, I have decided that the day should have ended there. You see, we had left our mom and baby horse in the pasture, Hollywood and Iris Lily, so after picking Jordan up, we went BACK to the barn to put the horses in... (doom da doom- scary music starts to play) Well, my dear girl, Jazz has been begging me to let her ride Hollywood, our wonderful, sweet UNBROKE 6 year old broodmare. We have gotten her saddled many times, worked on her lunging skills, and prepared her in every way we could think of to accept scary objects etc. Yet, I have not let anyone get on her because I just wasn't sure she was ready. (Crashing of cymbals- lightning flashes- very obvious NOW to me what went wrong). After such a fantastic day, I thought, why not? Jasmine is a great little rider and can sit just about any buck, Hollywood is mellow, too lazy to move very fast(note to self- those are ALWAYS the horses that go faster then the rest when scared- they've conserved all their energy thorough out the day for just such an occasion), and obeying so well. Let's just throw the saddle on and see what happens. Saddle goes on, no problems, trotting out nicely. Jasmine hops up, things are excellent, Hollywood is moving out. LOSER MOM suggests moving around a little bit in the saddle to be sure horse isn't going to spook later, desensitiving the mare to things above her. Jasmine obediently waves one arm in the air- WAHOO! Quiet mare turns into a wild bronc- bucks so hard it literally pulls my precious child out of her stirrups, throws her in the air, Jasmine lands on Hollywood's rump, who then bucks one more time for good measure, which catapults my beloved into the air, landing on her BACK. Wonderful, great, the guilt will last with me until the day I die. Thank God my child is ok, no thanks to me, wants to hop back on, and can still WALK- miracle of miracles. She cruises around for a moment, but says she is starting to hurt. I quickly help her dismount, and her friend Carrie, who has been watching all this with her dressage horse outside the arena, says "Let me try". Again, the idiot says, "Are you sure?" Carrie and her mom say yes, so up we go. Hollywood, doing ok, but tense, Carrie feeling more confident. Teenage boys sneaking past the arena send Hollywood into a panic, down goes Ninja Carrie, much more gracefully in an extremely cool shoulder roll, and back on her feet. This time was "better" if you can call it that, but still traumatic for the stupid horse owner who has now watched two kids hit the dirt. Jasmine freaks out when I attempt to mount, I think she thinks I am too fat and has seen me land on my head too many times (no excuse for being a retard now) so Carrie hops back on. The rest of the ride goes well, but I get to bandage up a skinned elbow on Carrie, and take home my gimpy daughter with sorrow and tears. How could I be so foolish you wonder? I don't know. Yes, accidents happen, yes you can't keep your kids in a bubble, but none of that makes you feel any better when you are the one who allowed the accident to happen. Man, I wish I could buy Jazz a car or something to try to ease my guilt.