Friday, July 3, 2009
4th of July Rodeo
I still haven't processed all the feelings this event brought up so I can't type much about it- but I am glad I went. Rodeos were a big thing for us, and since we sold the horses, I can't stand to be around them, or even think about them- thus making rodeos kind of difficult.
So I thought for sure we wouldn't go to the Clark County Rodeo this year, even though we have every other year (minus the time in AZ, but there we just went to the Prescott Rodeo).
Well, God is funny like that- between constant reminders, the offer of free tickets, and my family wanting to go, I knew He was saying "Quit being a chicken, girl." So I went. I don't regret it, but it has brought up such melancholy, it's been a tough week. Here's the play by play- you tell me how to process the whole thing, because I am still not sure.
I rolled up to the rodeo, started walking across the field, surrounded by the Mounted Patrol and trying not to cry- and who should materialize in front of me? A dear sister in Christ, Jody, who I had actually never met face to face, but only blogged with. She has been such an encouragement this last year, cheering me on and praying for me. I recognized her from the pictures on her Facebook, but didn't want to say anything. Have you ever know me to keep my mouth shut? So of course I couldn't NOT say hello- then she gives me a hug. That did me in. The tears wouldn't stop for about 15 minutes, but thankfully she was working and had to run and my family hadn't arrived yet, so I got to weep alone.
Once I got it together, I met up with sweet Kristi and realized it was going to be ok. I truly enjoyed watching all the people compete in events, the fun atmosphere, and the gorgeous horses. At the time, it felt wonderful to be there- where I like it best. Surrounded by horse smells, long manes and tails, and the sounds of my "therapy".
My parents actually agreed to come too, which was so fun to see them laughing at the Mutton Bustin, and my mom worrying about "Aren't their butts sore from sitting on the horses for so long?"
At the end of the evening, Jody was even waiting for me to say goodbye and encourage me to stop hiding from horses, and find a way to fit them into my life.
Now what? I can't pretend that being around them doesn't make me desperately want my own sweet horse again. But I also can't pretend that that part of me that so loves everything equine is going to disappear. I have avoided everything about horses for three months, and in a moment, it's like I never left.
I don't know, but I believe God is good, and He is clear. So I guess I just wait to see what He will do next. :) I am sure if He has to write it in the sky to get my attention, He will.
"Expect great things FROM God, attempt great things FOR God." William Carey
(BTW: The best thing about rodeos...greasy, heart attack food.)