Monday, July 20, 2009

The depths of despair..." Anne Shirley

I have been a bit neglectful this week, but the things I wanted to blog about belonged more in my private journal rather than a public blog, so I decided to stay away. I need to add some gardening stuff, but tonight I can't stop thinking about DESPAIR. I use to think that Marilla Cutherbert had it right when she said, " To despair is to turn your back on God." But as I have grown up, I realized that not all despair is the same. For me, that is usually where it's at- I am not living the way I should, making decisions I know better about, not asking God to give me an attitude like His. But if all despair was wrong, than what about when Paul said:
"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead." 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

They could be despairing and wishing for death, yet they also note that God allowed it to happen that they might more fully rely on Him. It helped me to realize that sometimes our very weakness is what God will use to grow us into stronger believers- and that is a wonderful thing.

I was feeling very sorry for myself this couple weeks, but tonight God grabbed a hold of me and said, "Rely on ME." He showed me that I have it so easy, and my life is so totally blessed- how dare I ever complain? I grumbled about my husband for a day, and what does he do? He shows great love for me and signs us up for salsa dancing classes (something I have always wanted to do, but he never did). My kids give me a little lip, and minutes later they apologize and tell me they love me- TEENS! Miracle! I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and a job that helps make ends meet and pays for a couple shave ice treats every weekend. We are mentally healthy, physically sound and richer than 75% of the rest of the world. How dare I complain?

I suppose the hard times come so we can say like Paul did:
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Oh, Lord, would you comfort the hurting tonight, care for the needy, and draw your children closer to you. Help us all take you at your word and truly believe you are always with us, You are powerful, You do what you say you will do, You give us LIFE, and you care for us. Work miracles in our hearts and minds, Father. (VBS people will recognize those bible points-they were so true!)

1 comment:

KingsLittleBlessings said...

Thank you for this. I have been feeling a bit of this lately, and have to CONSTANTLY pray to let God handle it ALL. The problems I have in my life are so tiny and silly compared to what I hear going on around me. I feel like a spoiled brat. (Hmm...I know I've said that before!) We have so much, and truly need to thank God not only daily, but moment by moment, for all we have. I feel like I let HIM down every time I whine or have a bad attitude. My selfishness gets in my way a lot!! Love you Renee, and thank you for being so open and honest in sharing.