Saturday, June 25, 2011
How terrible am I that I am loving a little break from being a wife? Steve is fishing like a mad man with buddies, and I am free to do ANYTHING I want ALL DAY LONG. I sometimes forget how much I really like being by myself, and being irresponsible!
I suppose in reality I have still had home and parenting responsibilities, but I have also had the time to trail ride for 2 hours, read some Ted Dekker books, and just stare at my flowers and thank God for the mercy He has for this sinful daughter of His.
As we were talking last night, God just gently encouraged me that it is ok to tell Him how unfair I think life can be. Watching families around me come apart at the seams breaks my heart, and I just feel so mad about it sometimes. And that makes me think I don't have enough faith. Which I hate. But then God showed me this Psalm and I suppose if David, a "man after God's heart", King of all Israel, mighty man of faith; had the same apprehensions, I am not in such bad company. And my favorite part is at the end- where we ultimately put our trust is all that matters.
"How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me." (Psalm 13:1-6)
God bless you with some sunshine today, friend. May He comfort and quiet your heart with the knowledge that He LOVES you, and is GOOD to YOU. Even when you can't see it right off.