A nice sabbatical...

(Pics are just for fun- little mini photo shoot Jazz wanted for Valentine's Day.)

After a little break from the blogging world, my son threw down on me and said "Please write a blog post, Mom"...and I have nothing to say.

Can you believe that? I always have something to say. I had decided to stop blogging this year due to my kids being "grown" and not wanting to embarrass them any more than I already do, so I have just been focusing on private journaling. But after they both said I had to write again and they missed it...I am not sure where to even begin.

My man child and his lady friend spent the evening reading through my blog book from 2008 (Blog to Print is a great site that will publish your blog in whatever format you design- I make them as keepsakes for my kids, the whole purpose to this blogging business originally) and it was so interesting to hear his take on it. He loved the post I wrote about him of course, "How do you tell your 13 year old son you LIKE him?" while others made him sad because he missed loved ones who aren't around anymore.

When I think about starting 2014, and all that has occurred I can't help but lift my hands up and say "Only You, God".
Only You, God, would think to make us sinful, crazy, loving, unique, and broken people into your special delight.
Only You, God, would beckon us to draw near to you through Jesus, the only one who truly has the RIGHT to be near you.

The grace and the kindness of the Lord is just too much sometimes.  I have no idea what this year is going to look like. I live in fear so much of the time- what next traumatic thing will happen, and other times I just don't give a rip. How can He put up with my fickleness and still WANT me to be near Him? Only You, God.

Reading through Galatians the last couple weeks just puts it beautifully:
"You are all children of God by believing in Christ Jesus. All of you who were baptized into Christ have put on Christ as if he were your clothes. There is no Jew or Greek. There is no slave or free person. There is no male or female. Because you belong to Christ Jesus, you are all one." Galatians 3:26-28

That's it. That simple. That AWESOME.
Only YOU, God, would make us One in such an amazing way. Thank you for that. 

This year bought a grandbaby who is now one years old. And it has me saying the same thing I did in 2008 when I looked at my 13 year old boy...Where did the time go?

Only by His grace can we live each day to smile, to cry, to love, to laugh. Only by His grace do we have any noteworthy moment, thought, or word. 

 I kind of love that. 

Take it back!

What a good kick in the pants today! I just had to post after my grumpiness the last few weeks, God threw DOWN today. And it came from a random Facebook post. Go figure.

I was waiting to pick up Jordan after school and just cruising through FB when, low and behold, an old acquaintance posts the most heart warming, worshipful status about being thankful. Just plain and simple, being thankful. It just stopped me short. My favorite part just keeps running through my mind, "Every movement an act of worship, every breath a gift." (Name withheld for privacy. But what a quote!) 

 So, my heart is convicted, my spirit encouraged. I am choosing to be thankful, and here's just a tiny glimpse of all the goodness in my life:

1) It's AUTUMN! With leaves to crunch, crisp air, and ear muffs right around the corner.

(When ear muffs can't be found, you can always use a toddler.)

2)  My beloved had surgery to remove a tumor, he came out wonderfully and it was BENIGN!

(Even during pre-op, we could be thankful for the comfy bear paw gown- so WARM.)

3) My precious girl is healthy, strong and growing into a beautiful woman. She is going to be a great mom.

(20 weeks and going strong! Halfway to meeting Brielle!)

4)  New friends who make us smile.

(Warm muzzles make life wonderful.)

5) The privilege of knowing my son, who is one of the strongest, most faithful men I have ever met. He never quits on his family, no matter how crazy he things we are.

(Wearing dark shades on cloudy days = greatness.)

6) This guy who went from broken and hurt, to being such a blessing- working full time, college full time, and doing all he can to change and grow in love and courage.

(When on crutches, MILK it for as long as you can!)

 7) Neck warmers. They are terrific.

(I prefer my neck warmers in black.)

8) Long walks with little and big people. Conversations that grow us and move our souls.

(Teach them how to "swag" as young as possible.)

9) The fact that in 4 short months, these two are going to give me a granddaughter! Babies are the BEST!

(They have tenacity. I love that in people.)

10) And always, always...The Word of God. Without it, all would feel lost.

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Too fast...

Yesterday reminded me of how quickly life is flying by and how GLAD I am that I get to be a part of it. Life is hard, and sad, and beautiful, and fun, and worth it- all at the same time.
Our little niece, Chloe turns 5 today, and it feels like yesterday and she was just a little newborn. Last month, Jasmine turned thirteen- officially a teenager, and yet I feel like I can remember just a month ago holding her hand as we walking into Family of Christ Preschool with tears in both our eyes. I have had my Jordan for 14 years, and they went SOOO fast- now I realized I have only another 4, and as a friend of mine pointed out- how fast do you think those 4 years are going to fly by?

Thinking about all that we have done, experienced and felt as parents is overwhelming, and we have just had a little TASTE. I am so proud of my kiddos for the way they handle life and disappointments, and I feel exhilarated when I see them overjoyed about the blessings God has given.

This last week, we got bad news- and at first, their frustration and anger was tangible. But so quickly they perked back up, and just went on with their business. We found out that our landlord hasn't paid the mortgage since we have been here- 6 months of rent- and now is being foreclosed on. I watched our whole family struggle with the reality of this mess, and then start trusting God to work a miracle, and knowing no matter what we would be together. That made everything else o.k. It was so cool to hear them say that, to sit next to their beds praying together and feeling the peace that transcends all understanding. They handle stress so much better than I do, I hope I can grow up to be just like them. :)

This year has been yet another crazy one, but really- would I want it any other way? To be blessed enough to have two teenagers who make me laugh every day, accept hugs and kisses every night, and still want to sit on the couch and chat with me- no matter where I live, how much I miss my horses and dogs, or how many hours I have to work- it is all so worth it to be able to call these guys...my family.

Mondays really are "Mondays"...

Remember all those old sayings like "Thank God it's Friday" or "Just another manic Monday"? (oooh, oooh, ooo...hear the music? "Wish it were a Sunday, that's my fun day..." hehehe)I have determined that they were all true. In the history of my
life, short as it may be, terrible things tend to happen on Mondays. And not only terrible things, but also just plain stupid things. So I am trying to figure out that if I stop "remembering" Mondays, and maybe call Mondays "Tuesdays" instead- do you think the annoying things, troublesome problems, and bleary Monday blues would go away? I wonder. All I can say is that I am really glad I am thirty minutes to Tuesday!
This last weekend was such a blast, I can't help but admit that it probably would make any day after seem like a "hang over" day. Jazz had a wonderful party on Friday and as much as I was exhausted because they don't know what SLEEP is, it was so cool to see her having fun, and hanging with girls she has know since she was in diapers. We laughed, and joked, they rode horses and jumped on the trampoline, scared themselves silly in the dark and tried to sleep in the breezeway until they realized they are warm- blooded creatures who can't tolerate freezing temperatures comfortably. Good times.
Saturday brought a treat just for me- a wonderful luncheon with ladies who knew me the moment I walked into my Christian life, with beautiful fall decorations and sweet fellowship. My dear friend, Donna, made it so elaborate, and so special for all of us, I will remember it forever. There is nothing like a cold, crisp fall day spent with women you admire and love. The best part was the countless ways Donna could make a dish with Jell-o. (Stef- stop laughing! hehehe) I will never eat jell-o again without thanking God for my delightful Miss Donna- who I have lovingly called "Bubbles" for the last decade.
Oh, to be able to look back on this life and feel full- that is a blessing only loving Jesus can provide. We had a birthday party for Steve's dad, and when he jokingly said he wished he was still 36, Grannie Anne said something that hit my heart. Her teeny 4 foot frame paused for a moment, and in her best "granny" voice she said, "Oh, I don't know...I don't think I would want to do all those years again". Wise woman, I say. On the other side of 80, she remembers that being in your thirties was no picnic. I wish I had her wisdom all the time...