Thursday, April 23, 2009

If only I could "see" it all the time...

"I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber...
The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
Palm 121

This has been a blabbering kind of day. My mind has run through so many things in 24 hours, it's no wonder I have a migraine. :) I start a second job on Monday, have a crazy busy weekend ahead, and am still trying to keep from crying every time I walk my dogs down the street- wishing they were running around me as I ride my horse instead. Throw in tough relationships and frustrations, and it's a perfect melodrama.

I need so much to remember the truth of this passage all the time. I have been clinging to this truth as the weeks have gone by, keeping my list of "pros" for the move to town and the reasons on being here right now close at hand and trying to remember that God is the only "help" I can ever hold on to completely. He will not let me down or leave me, but there are some days that the "realness" of this world overwhelms the heart, you know? There have been so many let downs, don't we get a breather in between?

All the silly desires of this life can be overlooked easily, but when you top it with the heartbreak that we give to each other, as family, as friends- it makes living so much harder.
Steve always says "It's not PC to tell the truth anymore", and some days, I get so tired of trying to be PC. Proper manners, polite speech, fancy dresses for church and pasty smiles make me want to gag. Why is it unacceptable to say what you mean, and mean what you say? Sometimes it might hurt, but isn't that better than trying to keep from growing bitter, from lying, or from losing intimate relationships? Am I crazy to think painful truth is better than flattering words?

Blah, blah, blah. Rambling Renee needs to stop whining and count her blessings, don't you think? The Lord is still on his throne, another day tomorrow- and as Anne and Miss Stacey would say, "No mistakes in it...yet".

1 comment:

KEI said...

I love you and your thoughtful words Renee! I also love the pictures of the Jas and Jordan, priceless! Hang in there sister, I'm praying for you!