Tamar has my number...

I hate to admit that I totally get this girl but I do. Taking matters into my own hands and being impatient comes naturally to me. Surprised, right? ;)

I was not in the mood for a lesson from the righteous today. And God reminded me of Tamar. (There are a few Tamar's in God's Word, but this chick has my heart.) The best thing about this story is the evidence of God's grace. Judah was a jerk, Tamar was a lonely woman who decided to do something about it- and yet they both get to become part of the lineage for Jesus- our wonderful Savior and the Son of God! Back up with me and read Genesis 38. (I always forget to mention, if you don't have your own Bible-message me. I have a pile and would love to send you one! And for now, you can look up the passage at www.biblegateway.com)

Tamar married the wrong dude, then due to their really whacked out heritage rules, she gets pawned off to the brother, then she gets promised if she waits- she will get to marry the youngest brother when he comes of age. Yeah- I know. Gross beyond gross, but that's how they swing it back then. (Her husbands kept dying off because they were "evil in the sight of the LORD". I wonder if she was glad- she was the one who had to live with their EVIL!)

Anyways, things just got worse for her after that. She waited alone for awhile, and Judah, her father in law, never kept his promise to give her the next little bro for a husband- even though he was old enough now. I know it sounds weird, but imagine the situation as a woman in a culture where your only worth came from marriage and the production of sons. Tamar had no hope of that now, and no hope of being a part of the lineage of her people- Abraham's descendants.

What she does next is just gnarly- I can't even TRY to describe it. Read Genesis 38:13-19...I'll wait.

Yeah- wow. Can you even imagine the desperation that it would take to bring a "good girl" raised in the strict fashion of the Hebrews to do this? WOW. That's like trash t.v. unstaged!

The best part is yet to come, as always! Good ol' Judah has still got some live ones- Tamar gets pregnant with that one shot. Yep. Now there is going to be trouble! When Judah finds out his daughter in law is pregnant, he gets all self-righteous and says "Off with her head!" (Well, not really...but I have been watching too many old movies lately.) Clever Tamar then sends him back his seal and staff to prove who Daddy is...big OOPS for Judah.

NOW is the best part- for once in his life, Judah does the right thing. Judah owns up to his sin, and declares Tamar more righteous than he. He recognizes that she just forced him into doing the right thing- providing her first husband (and his first born son) an heir to carry on the family name.

Reading commentaries about this- was Tamar right, should she have gotten what she wanted, what about Judah?Blah, blah, blah. The insight from this passage can go on and on but the beauty and point I think- is the GRACE of GOD.

In spite of it all, God provided for Judah, Tamar, and for US. You see, one of the twin boys this couple produced becomes a direct ancestor to Jesus. Romans 5:20 says it so beautifully, and I needed this comfort today:
"The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more..."

What a lesson! Sin never wins, hurts won't always rule our minds and and in the end, God's Grace will always be more than enough. Oh, hallelujah! Who knows? Maybe this life lesson in chapter 38 was one of the changing factors for Judah. Where he once sold his own brother into slavery (Genesis 37), he than became the man who stood before Egypt's ruler and begged to be thrown into prison instead of his other little brother (Genesis 44:33) But that is a story for another day....:)

Oh, Lord, how gracious you are. Thank you for being our God and loving us like no other. If only we were all as good to one another. Help us remember Tamar and Judah, help us live cleaner and love better.
(Pretty horse, huh? Her name is Bella...)

“Bondye pa renmen Ayiti” (God doesn’t like Haiti) is the word on the street..."

Whirling, whirling, whirling...that is what my noodle-y head feels like. Off work today unexpectedly, and I suppose that is a very good thing. I think if we choose not to slow down on our own, God forces us to by making it physically impossible to do anything else. He takes good care of us.

I have Haiti on my mind all the time, and wonder what the mamas are feeling like in Port-Au-Prince today. I wonder how much more damage will be found, and how many more dead. One missionary letter I read said that their courtyard at the school they teach is filled with the homeless families on one side, and dead bodies on the other side...literally. There is no where yet to take them. They have 300 people using the yard as bedroom, kitchen, and toilet. And how do they get food and clean water for all these? How?

The Living Proof Ministries Blog (www.ivingproofministries.blogspot.com) posted a letter from a missionary family in northern Haiti that gave me a better perspective this morning. Pam McCormick and her husband are graduates from the Moody Bible Institute and have been serving for 3 years in Haiti. They have two sons, with a third baby due in the next two weeks. Pam wrote this post from her experience, feeling just the trembles of the quake and now trying to bolster her community through their mourning...she says "everyone has family in Port-au-Prince". I hope it encourages your heart as much as it did mine. This is an excerpt but you can go to the LPM blog to read the whole letter... it is worth it. Bring them YOU, Lord...bring them You.

“Bondye pa renmen Ayiti” (God doesn’t like Haiti) is the word on the street. And though I know it is the furthest from the truth, I can’t blame them for feeling like that. From its beginnings as a slave colony, the people of Haiti have suffered and endured unimaginable tragedy, abuse and injustice. When you think things just couldn’t possibly get any worse in Haiti, they do. Time and time again, Haitians display their iron resilience, and somehow find a way to press forward.

These are the days they don’t prepare you for in Bible College. These are challenges I don’t remember hearing about in my missions classes. It was all so fun back then—translating the book of Jonah from the Hebrew text, studying the historical backdrop of Jeremiah, and understanding the literary structures in the Psalms. And yet, what do I say to my neighbor who believes that God has forgotten about them? And even if I knew what to say, who am I to say it? After all, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clean water to drink, and…at the drop of a hat, I can get out of this mess and go back to the comfort of the US if I want to. If I offer them myself, I offer nothing. But if I offer them Jesus, I offer everything. For who better to understand their pain and suffering than He who endured the pain and suffering of the cross. Who better to comfort than the Father who watched his own son as he was crushed under the weight of the sins of mankind. Why He allowed it to happen? I don’t know. But in times like these, I can only cling to what I do know. And I know that He is good, and that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, His ways higher than my ways... Please continue to pray for the people of Haiti. May they turn to the God of all comfort, to Christ the Savior, and to the Spirit who intercedes on our behalf." Pam McCormick- Fort Liberte, Haiti from LPM blog post January 19, 2010

Pam's husband keeps a blog running as well, it has the current efforts and prayer requests.
http://highwaytohaiti.com/

Ahhh...to gain some perspective.

It is truly AMAZING what a day off can do for your heart. I was blessed with the first day off from the nursing gig I had had in over a week, and the first day off in over a month to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Not to say I did nothing, but there was nothing I HAD to do. What a glorious freedom that brings. :)

I think that is one of the things I like best about December. The holiday season almost forces you to reflect on the things that normally blow right by your mind. Thanksgiving makes you "call to mind" all the things you are thankful for, everywhere you turn a Christmas Carol is playing or a sign reminds you that Jesus ADORES you so much He came to earth to save you, and even New Years is a time where most people look to the future and decide to be intentional about some good "resolution" they want to make in the next year. I love it. I am a firm believer that nothing good ever happens accidentally (it's hard to believe in a sovereign Lord and believe in accidents at the same time:)...we have to prepare, take aim, and TRY to nail our target. So our target better be worth it, right?

Remembering all that God does every day is the best way to stay intentional- His ways and His very being should always be our target. To remember the ways He has been merciful, to remember His strength and power, and to REMEMBER the way He provides for all our needs...oh, how can we not want to stand up and cheer for Him!
I think Mary, Jesus's earthly mother said it best:
"His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty. " Luke 1:50-53

God bless each of you today. I am glad to go to my church this morning and worship the God of the Universe with my family, I am blessed to have a home to move to finally and a job to work hard at. And I am SO happy that "Jesus is the Reason for the Season."

New Covenant- THANK YOU!

What a whirlwind month September has been. I feel like I haven't had a chance to catch my breath in weeks. And yesterday, we got another bombshell dropped. Good times.

I keep waiting for my life to look like a Little House on the Praire episode. You know, crisis that the family pulls together through, and is resolved in 1 hour with commercial breaks. Hmmm. Can't figure out why I never get my wish. :)

In truth, though, life is good and God is better. There is no doubt in my mind that we can handle whatever comes next because He is with us, and has blessed us so greatly with a family that loves each other and sticks together. Steve just keeps reminding me of all the ways God has already show himself wonderful, and it is so good. Right when my OCD/planning machine mind starts to panic- I remember that MY Lord is with me, and won't ever let me go. He has established a new covenant with me- a binding contract that is stronger than anything on earth, because it goes down to the soul. Not a strict legalistic "10 Commandment" kind of life, but a law that He has made for my good and He has so graciously put the desire to obey in my HEART. Oh, how I love that! The freedom I have is because HE is so totally awesome, and even at the worst times, I can trust that. :)I was reminded last week of something I truly cherish- Moses and the Israelites had the parting of the Red Sea, but Jesus said "Come walk on the water with me, baby!"

Here's to believing God to be big!

"THIS IS THE COVENANT THAT I WILL MAKE WITH THEM AFTER THOSE DAYS, SAYS THE LORD:I WILL PUT MY LAWS UPON THEIR HEART, AND ON THEIR MIND I WILL WRITE THEM," He then says,
"AND THEIR SINS AND THEIR LAWLESS DEEDS I WILL REMEMBER NO MORE." Hebrews 10:16-17

"Sunshine is overrated"

A friend of mine emailed me today with that sentence in the subject line. Now, you all know my love affair with the sun, so it definitely got my attention. I opened the mail to see some wonderfully encouraging words that I so needed. My mood is literally ATTACHED to the weather, and she was gently reminding me to become more attached to the "Sonshine" that is available even on the darkest days. How did this girlie that I haven't seen or talked to in weeks know that I needed that? There have been so many "God Stops" this month, yet I couldn't seem to get ahead of those stinkin' feelings all week. Feeling discouraged, overwhelmed, trying so hard to be content in all things, but that is so much harder when you can't just be by yourself all the time. :)Which just made me more depressed, to know that in spite of all the reasons I had to thank God for my blessings and praise Him, I was still a whiner down deep.

It reminded me of something someone said once, in this video bible study- about darkness and light. It generally said- Have you ever noticed that when you open a closet door, you can see what ever you need just from the light of the hallway? The light from the room spills into the closet, brightening up everything in it. Yet, the darkness that was in the closet doesn't spill out and take over the room. I have been locked in many a closets (don't ask), and sometimes it is so dark in there, you can't even see your hand in front of your face. Why doesn't that thick, pitch black dark block out the light from the hall? That's when the speaker said, Darkness is just the ABSENCE of light, not something tangible in itself. It was a very cool presentation metaphorically because it reminded me to stop focusing on the darkness. It has no strength or resource- as long as I "carry my light", I don't have to live in shadows.

This week I have been looking at the "clouds" and reminding myself of my shortcomings, rather than looking at the "Son" and remembering His presence in me. I am never going to be perfect, but thank God He is. It doesn't matter if I get off track on my diet, my goals for work, my attitude towards my husband- as long as I don't stay there- in the closet. "Let some light in, girlfriend!" Is that why God sent me that email through my friend? I love to think so.
I don't function so well when I am tired, and having slept only a few hours a night, I could tell my crabbiness was catching up to me. Then the dreary, muggy days. But oh, what a friend we have in Jesus. He knows just what to send and when to send it. I hope He sends you a friend to lift your spirits tomorrow, or a smile when you need it- just to remind you that He is thinking about you.

"The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world." John 1:9

Trail Blazers

" Do not follow where the path may lead, rather lead where there is no path, and leave a trail."

I hope these girls will always know how beautiful and smart they are, will remember how loved they are, and never let the world and it's struggles and pains take away their smiles. I hope they will always blaze a trail of laughter and joy, and may it always lead them closer to the ONE who created them, the ONE who died to save them- the ONE who rose so they could be forever laughing.