A portion that is just enough.

(All Jo wanted to do for his birthday was shoot hoops and be together. Love my guy.)

So much living we have been doing! The last few weeks have been full of birthdays, graduations, music festivals, baby milestones, gardening and new pets. Too much to caption, but great living that should be remembered- no matter how hard it is in the moment.

(This face is totally irresistible.)

God just keeps reminding me that HE is enough and His timing is perfect. This quote fills my ears:
 "Are we going to judge God by the circumstances we don't understand, or judge the circumstances in light of the character of God?" - Linda Dillow

 It feels so strange to have spent years with my children all around me, and now to have them need so little. They still ask the questions, appreciate the heart to hearts, and accept the afternoon snacks if I make them. But they don't NEED them anymore, and it is good, and healthy... but strange. Are they making all the "right" decisions? I doubt it. Are they secure in their future goals? Not really. But ultimately, that's their story to write. And God is enough. And His timing is perfect for them too. As I pray for their lives and their choices, I find more and more I am just praying for God to teach them that. They are such amazing people, I know God is doing a good work in them.

Almost finished with the study we have been doing from Linda Dillow, Calm My Anxious Heart, and last week's lesson just HAD to become a word study on "Time". I couldn't resist. So many passages, too many to recount. But it just drove the point home, God's timing is perfect and His ways are good. The book shared a letter from Andrew Murray to someone seeking his advice, and oh! You have to hear it:

(I choose to say:)
"I am here- By God's appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time."

How true is that?? No matter how strange it is to be an empty nester so suddenly, no matter how hard or easy things can be, no matter WHAT- God's put me here, in this circumstance, at this time, with His help.

(First zoo trip! Bee loved it and actually looked at the cheetah and the otters!)

I hope you find encouragement in that fact too, friend. Nothing looks as daunting when we look at it through the lens of eternity.

Hope this spring has filled your heart with new beginnings. Summer- here we come!

"Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure." Psalm 16:5

(Just had to share the epic fun time we had at the ColorMeRad 5K. TRY IT!)

Dr. Seuss never fails...

(Don't be horrified! Our plan was to throw the baby if Mindy spooked. Bahahaha!)

In the midst of national madness, we can still feel God's provision. Right when I decided to take a break from my social media sites, the bombing in Boston happened. Steve keeps me updated on the findings, but it's a relief not to have the gory details right in my face all day long on my Facebook/Twitter/etc etc- and instead be able to just pray for the post trauma of those who were directly affected. When you think about the fraility of life, the sanctity of it...makes you want to hug and kiss your people and not take a day for granted, doesn't it?

The last couple of weeks in the contentment study we have been working through, God keeps asking us to be content in our roles, content in our relationships. Whoohoo- easy to say! But so incredibly hard to do. Why is it that it takes tragedy to open our eyes and push us to be thankful for what we do have? I wish I knew. It reminds me of a Dr. Seuss quote I use to love:
"Sometimes the questions are complicated, and the answers are simple."

(Found our happy place!)

It's a simple thing to look at what is in front of me, rather than look for what I wish was.
It's a simple thing to read the Good Book and believe it, rather than question why it's so hard.
It's a simple thing to trust that God is at work in the world, rather than focus on the ugly.
It's a simple thing to enjoy my work each day, rather than dream that someone else will do it.
It's a simple thing to just love...to forgive...to pray...to listen.

My study this week ended with committing to "secret choices" we can make regarding relationships in our lives. The idea was "What I choose to be, What I choose to do, What I choose to say". I love that because it reminds me: We can't control anyone around us- their choices, their lives. But we can control ours. We can trust God to be acting in it.

(Oh, I missed seeing this!)

The author shared hers:
"What I choose to be- faithful to God.
What I choose to do- forgive others, go beyond forgiveness
What I choose to say- words of blessing and love."                       Dillow, Calm My Anxious Heart
                                                                                                                                 page 82

What are your "secret choices", friend? Make today count for eternity.

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." -Dr. Seuss

(Training up the next generation of CowGirl! Brielle loved looking at Mindy's "spots")

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves...Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse...If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
(Romans 12:9-10, 14, 18)

(Had to share this song. I am glad my kiddos are growing up...but can't lie. This song has been breaking my heart all week. Both kids graduated by June, daughter married with her own family...I kinda miss this. ;)

"Two women looked through prison bars..."

(She is seriously the sweetest baby ever. My heart...it's just too much!)

When we want something wonderful to happen, it takes forever. But when we are wanting things to slow down a bit, life flies by too fast!
It's been slow at work, and while that is definitely tough on the wallet, the rest of life has been busy busy! The break from work has given me so much more time to spend with my family and getting to know my Jesus better though, I am grateful. A friend said recently "When I'm going through the tough trials, I just ask God to help me LEARN what He's trying to teach me RIGHT NOW...so I don't have to go through it again!" How true is that? In all the rough patches the last two years, I am earnestly asking God to change me and grow me through it...so I don't have to do it again!!

One of the topics in the "Contentment" Bible Study we are doing (see this post for info) was on "Content with Circumstances". Wow, how easy is that? I can know I shouldn't compare, worry, and say "if only...", but that knowledge rarely stops my action. The more I read through Philippians 4 though, the more God is showing me that the key is where my thoughts are. Actively "rejoicing", "praying" and "thinking on" is how I move past regret and disappointment and on to all that God has done...and will do...in our lives.

(My girl loving her girl. It's beautiful to see.)

There was a story in the study of a young women who happily married her United States Marine fiance and thought it would be romantic and exciting traveling the globe with him. Only a couple years later, she was miserable and sent a letter of complaints to her mother. She hadn't made any friends because she didn't think learning the language was worth it since they would leave soon, and her husband was never home. Here is my favorite part of the story:

"Her astute mother faxed a reply consisting of just two lines.

       Two women looked through prison bars
       One saw mud, the other saw stars. 
                                                                                       (Dillow pg 29, Calm My Anxious Heart)

Oh, how true that is! I couldn't help but see this and remember a journal I had started years ago, to just list all the blessings I see around me. It's been far too long since I wrote in it.

(This picture makes everything else worth it. So totally Spencer, and so totally a daddy loving his baby girl.)

So, here's just a sampling of all God has done this last week for us. What does your list look like, friend? Can we choose to "see stars" instead of staring at the mud below us? I think so!

My "Philippians 4:8" List

* I get to kiss baby cheeks every day
 * Sweet teens who have struggled to see God, still want to meet each week and read His Word  with me. Truly a blessing
* Spencer got a job and a drivers license! (you have NO IDEA how exciting that is to me- EVERY DAY I drive him to and from school, the gym, work, church, and whatever else needs to be done. I think I feel more freedom with that license then he does! No more 7 am car pool for me! After almost 2 years of it, all I can say is- Woot woot!)
* Jasmine was given a safe car to drive her family in
* Jordan is maturing and proving it by actually doing his schoolwork
* Steve is satisfied at work and is feeling healthier each day
* The sun came out!
* Family relations are healing and it's wonderful to watch
* Easter is coming- my favorite holiday
* We have a home, the electricity is on and there is food in the fridge

 The list could go on and on- so I will keep adding to it every day! God bless you!

(What a family!)

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9

It's all in the timing.

It's pretty funny how we can be told the same things over and over, but not really hear it. Until the time is right.

I have being feeling bone tired for months. Not so much from lack of sleep, but just a tiredness in my spirit. Granted, its been quite a month. But even that wasn't it. Until this week, I really couldn't explain it to you. But now that I think I have found the reason, it feels AMAZING to know it can be treated.

Back in the fall I started a Bible Study with an old friend (hadn't seen her in years!) and some ladies from her church. It was such a blessing during a time of big transitions. Not being able to lead youth accountability groups, not really having any thing else to encourage study time, this was just what I needed.

Never could I have imagined how perfectly timed it would be. Getting to know these women has been such an encouragement. And then we started a new study this last week. It's by Linda Dillow, called "Calm My Anxious Heart". Timing! I have always been such a worrier. My husband says it's my "favorite hobby". I can worry about why there is more moss in the grass at 2 AM and find nothing wrong with doing it. At 2 in the morning.

Well, in just the first week of the study, God is bringing me His peace. It's awesome to experience. Of course, I had to read the whole book right away because a good thing is too hard to resist. But as I spend the next couple of months going over each chapter in depth with my little group of ladies, I can not WAIT to see what God does in my heart.

In the very first chapter, the author calls us out on what causes our anxious hearts. Lack of contentment. I don't know that I would have gone right to that, but as she cruises us through Philippians 4 and 1 Timothy 6, our worry and anxiety is so often rooted in a lack of contentment, and a lack of TRUST, in what God sees fit to give us.

Dillow tells of a friend she has, who's mother is the picture of contentment. Just the kind of woman that you want to rub shoulders with. Yet, this woman had lived for over 50 years with pygmie tribes in Africa. No running water, air conditioning, healthcare...the most coarse conditions. Her name is Ella, and Dillow's friend came across an old diary entry that Ella had written..and it is worth sharing:

"Ella's Prescription for Contentment"
1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything- not even the weather.
2. Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
3. Never compare your lot with another's.
4. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
5. Never dwell on tomorrow- remember that [tomorrow] is God's, not ours.


                                                                                  (Dillow, Calm My Anxious Heart pg 13)

WOW. I immediately felt shamed...and the next line the author said the same thing. Coming from a woman who spent her entire adult life "slaving" in a sense, for the love of her Lord and His lost people, how can I not see the truth in it? I had forgotten to really mean it when I said, "Thank you, Lord". For everything.

I am walking around today with a smile on my face. For no other reason but God is good, and His ways are good. He has a plan, and a purpose for each one of us. And that is an AWESOME place to be. God bless you, friend. The daphne bushes are blooming, and Jesus lives. May you look into your OWN cup and thank the Lord for what He has done. The wonderful things that overflow our hearts, the fun things that make us laugh, and the hard things that grow us into a people that look more like Jesus.

Maybe someday I'll be able to say what Paul said in Philippians 4:11-13:
  "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."