Friday, July 11, 2008
Old times, new times, and in-between times.
What memories we have- and how funny that we can remember the same event, or person, but recount it so differently. Depending on our personalities, frame of mind, and perspective, that same event can be wonderful to one person, and terrible to the next. I remember this photo, and wanting to cry for joy over these sweet girls, and my Jasmine remembers how much she wanted to get back home so she could swim with Katie in the pool! These last few months I have been "remembering" a lot, and trying to place all these thoughts in little boxes, good, bad, not worth remembering, etc. Unfortunately, I have been very unsuccessful. I can't seem to fit any of them in one box. So many events, choices, people in my life can be considered "bad", "good" or even "well worth it".
I was talking with an old friend last night, after I called her to see if she could convince me to not drown my sorrows in an entire box of Krispy Kremes, and after hanging up the phone, I tried to put our memories, and relationship into a box. I have experienced so many things with this woman, watched our babies grow to teens, laughed, cried, fought, prayed, learned. I miss her terribly some days, those old times, and other times I know that life must go on- and there are so many new memories to make.
So, I have finally come to terms with my "boxes". That they are really a bunch of bull. I don't want to try to over simplify things anymore, to label them. I know that what the Word teaches is the only thing "good", that since He is a part of my life, the experiences I have are either directed or allowed by the Creator of the Universe, and that is all that I need to know. I am not going to play the "what if" game anymore. I don't want to keep saying "did I do the right thing"- I want to walk away and truly say I have no regrets. Not anymore. Every "mistake" has taught me something, changed me in some way. Every blessing has grown me, and made me "better". So, for today, I will remember what the blood of Jesus has really done for me- NO REGRETS, because how can I regret things that God no longer remembers? How can I be sorry for choices that brought me closer to Him? Thank you, Lord, for friends and family, for life, and breath, and everything else. And I will try not to regret the donuts. ;)