Friday, June 19, 2009
A perfectly unexpected lesson...
Yet another morning that could have been dreary, but turned out surprisingly refreshing. I woke up to rain and for once, it didn't make me want to cry. Yesterday I went with the youth group to Seaside, and God totally blessed the trip from beginning to in. We had three times as many kids as last year, but instead of being overwhelming, it was so fun and a great time of building relationships.Only two bleeders, one vomiter, and no abductions. That's pretty good for teenagers if you ask me.
Someone said something that hit me so hard, I still feel a little stunned. It has been spinning through my mind ever since, and even though I couldn't sleep much due to the magnitude of truth it carried, I am thankful for the realization. We were just lazing around on the beach after shopping, ciclo bike rides, and goofing around, and one of the staff kids was setting up to build a fire. I couldn't get over what a gorgeous day it had turned out to be, partly sunny, warm and very little wind...reminder- we were at the OREGON COAST. Where I remember wearing ski caps and parkas and pretending to have fun. Obviously my memory is biased. Anyways- gorgeous day. As I sat there, surrounded by the kids I love, I commented on how awesome it was, and said next year I was going to make Cindy bring hot dogs and smores, so we could stay on the beach instead of going to dinner. Then, in typical Renee fashion, I said "but next year it will probably rain". BAH! This staff member turns to me and says "You are so depressing! I can't believe you said that!" and laughingly rebukes me for my sour attitude. Now, he probably didn't see it that way, but I did- and he was so dead on, I have been thinking about it ever since. I have never felt like a depressing person, and try to look for the blessings in life, but now I see that my thought process is so totally negative, it is ridiculous. No wonder I struggle with my attitude and keeping my feelings in check. Feeling defeated and discouraged is exhausting, and not at all how God wants us to feel. It was such a God Stop, and at such the right time. My study this week has been about using our mouths appropriately in speech, and I had read a blog one of our old youth pastors from AZ wrote about the heart, so I had already been thinking on that- and then to have this twerp call me on the carpet about where I let my mouth run, leading my heart along- wow. The bummer is I am going to have to thank that twerp for being God's mouthpiece for me. :)
As I processed all of yesterday this morning, I can't help but praise God for his total patience and unfailing love. This week has not been my favorite, with Steve's job stuff, my work schedule, and the end of the school year- meaning the end of homeschooling for us. My heart has been given a bit of a beating, but as I did my word study this morning on "heart" and "mouth", I realized that even if it feels that way, it has been such a good thing. I want my heart tender towards God and the things around me, and sometimes I guess God just needs to use a hammer to make it happen. Ummm...that sounds kind of disgusting. But you get the "picture". hehehe
A work in progress, and thank God- He isn't through with us yet. Happy Friday, my friends, and look for your God Stops today.
"But as for me, I will always have hope, I will praise you more and more.
My MOUTH will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not it's measure." Psalm 71:14-15