"But this is your hour- when darkness reigns."

Tomorrow will be a day of celebrating and laughing, a time of family and friends and giving thanks for the ultimate gift of salvation. Some people won't think much of it, some will be brought to their knees in gratitude.

Easter Sunday. So important...but not by itself.

Without Good Friday, Easter Sunday would never have come. To have the city praising him and waving palm branches just a week ago, to Luke 22 and after...shame. That's what I feel. I know my fickleness could have lead me to be one of those in the crowd- a shouting, angry face.

We had the chance to attend a Good Friday Service this year, and as I listened to the accounts of Jesus' last earthly moments, the scripture reading and the medical accounts of His scourging and death, I kept thinking of something I read this week about grace. I have been doing a study by Kay Arthur, and she says throughout that when we are faced with our own sin, when we are ready to confess...we can choose to run to Mount Sinai, or we can run to Mount Calvary.

It's such a tangible idea, to run in one direction or the other. Both towards God, but with very different results.

The author said:
"Remember, it was at Calvary that God inaugurated the covenant of grace as He put to death His Son, the covenant Lamb.
Sinai was the mountain on which the Law was inaugurated as Moses "took the blood of the calves and the goats...saying "THIS IS THE BLOOD OF THE COVENANT WHICH GOD COMMANDED YOU TO KEEP". (Hebrews 9:19-20)
To run to Sinai is to try in some way to do penance for your sins, to do some sort of good deed to make up for failing God."

But grace..."grace is found at Calvary".(chapter 6 of "Lord, I Need Grace...")

Oh, how wonderful is that? We keep striving to BE better, to DO better, to try harder to stop being insufficient and weak...when, we will always be completely unable to satisfy the perfection God requires. Until we fall under the sacrifice and forgiveness of Jesus.

Wonderful, wonderful. This weekend is a sad time when you realize what it cost. But it is also the most freeing weekend of the year really, when we choose to embrace all that it stands for.

The pastor said at the beginning of the service to think on what the "Grave" means to us personally. The grave of Christ...and at the end He asked people to just shout out their thoughts. To hear older adults speaking of "grace" and "mercy", young little voices shouting out "forgiveness" and "joy".
I had thought of the word "love" when I pictured Jesus' grave, but as I listened...it was just impossible to see any one word or phrase that could possibly define it.

And that's what is so great about God's sacrifice- it's bigger, and better, and more complete than we can ever really understand. Thank you, Father. Thank you for being so much more than we can imagine.

Happy Easter, Friends. Enjoy your eggs and candy and family, while you lift your hands in praise to the One who gave you everything.
"If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1John 1:8-9

If you need someone to celebrate Easter with and are local, Thomas Jefferson Middle School will be the place to be at 10 AM Sunday. Be there and worship with us!
3000 NW 119th St, Vancouver, WA 9868

(Pics are just for fun- the last few weeks have been full of landscaping and gardening, of love and friendship. Hard things that break our hearts, good things that remind us tomorrow is a new day, and Jesus with us through it all.)

To be a turtle on a log is a wonderful thing....

Could Friday have been any more beautiful? I love that I was able to adjust the work day and go sit in the sunshine watching the horses graze for awhile. It made me wish I was a turtle...have you ever noticed that the minute the sun comes out, all these turtles you never knew were in a pond suddenly are lined up in rows on every log they can find- just SOAKING up the rays. What a life they lead!

After my "baking time" in the sun I had to resume real life. And to be honest, it was a tough afternoon. Sometimes the fight and the struggle just feels like it is winning and "Why bother" comes to mind.

The greatest thing though, God gets that. He knew I was discouraged and tired and feeling just a little hopeless. And so he gave me Good Friday. When I took a minute to reflect on all that was "good" about this Friday 2000 years ago, suddenly the world really did look brighter. The best thing I heard at the service I was attending comforted my heart so much...praise You, Lord for always being ENOUGH. Oh, how I love you!

"Your service may please God,
Your worship may exalt Him,
Your study can reveal God,
BUT,
You need never aspire to SATISFY God
because He is completely satisfied in the
work of His Son."

Sunday's Comin'! Woot Woot! The flowers are trying to bloom, the sun is shining, and God is GLORIOUS. It just doesn't get any better...Happy Easter, friend.

AMAZING love! What a sermon that little girl preached to me!

Pleasantly surprised and astounded. What a great Easter weekend we have had, and what an amazingly awesome God we serve. Just one instance after another, He keeps reminding me "Grace, love. My grace is for you..."
I try not to post every thought that crosses my mind- as I post enough already- but I had to share my God Stop today. It was just TOOOOO good.

Easter Service...pretty much the same in Protestant churches everywhere. Could be mundane, but only if you aren't looking. :) Today I sat in my church, with my dear friends, and watched the children be called up to the front to sing with the worship leaders. They did a song they've worked on during their "Praise Parties" each Sunday School hour, called "Every Move I Make". I have been singing this song for nearly a decade, but today was really special. I stood next to a young lady, more woman than little girl anymore, and remembered when she was little and we use to sing this song during chapel at the Christian school she and my son attended. It has been a long time since I have had the chance to worship alongside this sweet thing, and as I sang I pictured her back then- her little 9 year old face, shining in a smile, doing hand motions she once knew by heart.
Then I looked up on stage and I saw her baby sister- now 9 years old. Life has kept these girls busy for a lot of years and unable to get to church, and I have prayed for God to keep them close. This little Bebo that I use to babysit as a newborn hasn't had the chance to learn these old songs or hear a whole lot about the God who loves her so much. I have been so blessed over the last few months to see her learning and growing in her understanding of who Jesus is, and as I watched her sing "Waves of mercy, waves of grace, every where I look- I see your face. Your love has captured me..." and do the sign language for face, and love- I about died. I tell you right now, had I died at that moment- I could not have been happier. God must have been busting a gut right then watching me struggle to maintain composure and yet absolutely, totally in love with Him like I never have been! That little girl preached about God's amazing love and grace in such a way to me right then, I could barely stand it. :)The goodness of my God- to answer my prayers so clearly, and show His love for His little people so gently. WOOT WOOT! Those who know me- just picture it. Thank God I didn't blow my cover at my little Baptist church and turn full out Pentecostal right there. I much prefer decorum during church and head stands in private worship. But today was a tough one to keep from being a total distraction!

Oh- I wish you could have seen it the way I did. Seeing these girls, come full circle in a sense- what a treasure. To see their family WHOLE- with Jesus in the center! I know life is going to rough them up a lot, and I don't know how the future is going to be for any of us. But it doesn't even matter! We are GROWING. Every day we look to Him. God stopped me in my tracks and gave me a picture of what He is like...and I know He was grinning like crazy! You would think I would learn some day to stop having my jaw hit the floor when He works, but He really is...amazing. I have no doubt in my mind that my children, and every single child I love- is right in the middle of God's hands. I have no doubt that the women I love dearly, and the families I cherish and pray for every night are going to see God work in their lives...no matter what. I love that no matter how many times we fall or forget- He will remind us and forgive.

Oh, Lord- thank you for this day. Thank you for my Bebo, my teens, my life. Thank you for my church and for my Pastors- who never hesitate to preach Your Word just the way You said it. Thank you that you have a plan and a purpose for each one of us. That nothing...absolutely nothing can separate us from the love You have for us. For every single one who believes. And thank you for the little picture of what heaven will be like.

On a side note- our teens did this powerful skit today too- yeah, I know, I wish you had been there today too! I didn't think I should post our own since this is not a private blog and their are close ups of other people's kids that don't know I blog. But I do want you to see it- so here is the original done by a church in Tennessee. I have posted it before, but it is so good- you won't mind seeing it again I think. :)

"Praise the Lord! I will thank the Lord with all my heart as I meet with his godly people. How amazing are the deeds of the Lord! All who delight in him should ponder them. Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty. His righteousness never fails." Psalm 111:1-3

Living in between...

Good Friday. Strange name, but in reality so true, yes? Easter Sunday. We all know what that day is too. But what about "Holy Saturday"? An article I read describes all the days of Easter Holy Week pretty well, looking at it from both Protestant and Catholic angles. In summary, "However it is observed, Holy Saturday has traditionally been a time of reflection and waiting, the time of weeping that lasts for the night while awaiting the joy that comes in the morning." (http://www.crivoice.org/cyholyweek.html)

Where am I going with this? You see,I hang out in the Old Testament a lot. Is it because I like stories? Possibly. Is it because the amazing histories crack me up sometimes and let my imagination run wild at other times? Maybe. Is it because a God of justice and ferocity makes more sense to my legalistic mind than a God who loves a goomba like me and saved me...with nothing I can do to earn it? Probably. Grace is something God is constantly trying to get through my thick skull. Good Friday (even though it should be celebrated on Wednesday- but that's another rant. :) makes sense to me. Mourn your own stupidity, your own sin. Wallow in your grief over killing the One True God. Spend Saturday reflecting on what an epic failure you are, and look towards Sunday- when it all makes sense and you are supposedly FREE! Reborn! Made Alive with Christ! Not what God intended I know, but all things many of us do, or feel.

But this week I heard someone say something so clearly...In a discussion about the Holy Days of Good Friday, Holy Saturday and Easter Sunday, this preacher said "Most Christians are stuck living in between. They live in Holy Saturday their whole Christian lives...somewhere after they confessed their sins and were saved (Good Friday) but never reaching Sunday- and all that resurrection and LIFE means." Did I ever think of it that way? That I live in the "Saturday"...reflecting and mourning the losses and WAITING for the new life Jesus gives every single one of us? Living like a dead person waiting for heaven, instead of realizing I am resurrected already? I can't explain it right, but WOW. God has been so amazingly good to me this year. He has been loving me gently, and pushing me to stop trying to EARN my life back. For the first time in my Christian life, I haven't felt total regret and sorrow when I look at Easter. When I cry over Good Friday, and remember my Lord and all that He did for me, for the first time- it is with tears of repentance and JOY. I don't feel like wasting my Saturday being all forlorn over my sins- they've been FORGIVEN. I am choosing...now and ever more... to live in the CELEBRATION of Easter. The day Jesus did all the rest to get me to. Oh, Hallelujah for that!

Am I still a goomba? Yes, unfortunately. I will always mess up and forget the things I most hold dear. But I can confess it and MOVE FORWARD. God has given me a complete picture of Himself through His Word, through Jesus...and every time I hold that treasure in my hands and dig into His nature, I can be sure that He doesn't want me "living in between". He doesn't want me hanging out in Good Friday or Holy Saturday. He wants me free to run, dance, and LIVE with Him in Resurrection Sunday. That was the whole point. And what a fantastic point He made, yes?

Happy Holy Saturday, friends. Father, help us to remember to live like You want us to. I am so praying that you have been "living in between" sometimes too, that today is the day you move forward. God bless you with more of Himself! xoxox

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a LIVING HOPE through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you,who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time...Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:3-9

(We took a trip to Seaside for Spring Break, had to share a photo of my sweeties at Fort Stevens. I pray these guys learn about grace and understand it a lot faster than I am. :)

He has risen- He has risen indeed!

God is so amazing, and I still don't get why that surprises me! I obviously don't know Him nearly well enough. But I am so thankful He has given all of us the opportunity to know Him more and more. Thank you, Jesus- for making a way.

Easter was such a great time. We had some of our family over, and it shocks me how much better my heart is doing. God has been gracious and truly is giving me a new heart, and a new understanding of what it means to love people. I have a long way to go, but I am finally sure I will make it. :) The drama of the last year, and all the changes that have happened has just reinforced more and more that the "Lord gives, and the Lord takes away- Blessed be the name of the Lord." Where we have lost financially, God has provided abundantly, where we have lost family, God has provided new family for us to give and share our lives with. Where we have lost faith, God has given more grace, where we have lost hope- God has given so much mercy.

I am so rich, and I can't believe I didn't see it before. As each milestone passes from last spring, each holiday is completed- I feel Jesus helping me through, healing the holes in my heart and making me trust in His unfailing goodness. I know there will be days that threaten to tear me down, break my resolve in trusting Him- but the more I realize that there are no guarantees outside of Jesus, the easier it gets to keep my focus.
Ahhh- today will be a good day, Praise God. And if next April finds me alone and living in a cardboard box, Praise God. Help me to truly live like that, Father. God be with you today, friend.
"Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." John 17:3