Monday, November 10, 2008

I am "blessed"....

I just love it- I can't think of any other way to say it. I think God has such an amazing sense of humor. As I struggled through the last part of the week, He must have just been laughing his head off at my ignorance. Smiling, and saying to Himself "Just wait and see, girl, wait and see" at what he had in store for me. And there I was grumbling, all the way to Sunday night- and then He blessed me with His presence and His people. It is the most awesome sensation to know that you are loved by God, and that He CARES for you. And He doesn't want you to sweat the small stuff.
I read this in one of the books I am reading this morning, and for me, it really helps free me from the legalistic box I often find myself in. " To be human is to live with loose ends, with people and in a world of loose ends, feeling you've been made for perfection but knowing you can't get there on your own. Knowing that you have been placed here to bring a taste of something beautiful and blessed." Rick McKinley I haven't totally decided what I think of the book yet, he is a little too fluffy at times for my tastes, but his point is fantastic (It's about living in the kingdom of God/heaven here). Get off your high horse, Renee, and admit that you are NEVER going to do it all right all the time. I battled all weekend with everything I needed to do, and wanted to accomplish, with the state of the relationships of my life, with the sadness of seeing people not living a joy-filled life because of unforgiveness or anger, not walking with the Lord and not being able to help them. And then- I walk into Bible study and get fed by God's amazing Word, meet with people who struggle with the same things I do, and come out refreshed and EXCITED to keep on, keepin' on. One of the older ladies said to me that whenever someone asks her how she is doing, she always responds "I am blessed"- because that's how she feels, regardless of the circumstances, and that's her way of bringing Jesus into her conversations. How cool is that!?! If only I had her 70 year old perspective in my 30 year old brain, what a different way I would live. I am blessed.
Thank you God, for the moments. I struggled so much with what to do about moving back to Washington, and felt so many times that it would come back to bite us in the butt, and often times it has felt that way. But being with the people from my church, learning with them and seeing them care for one another- fallen and sinful as we all are, feeling God changing my stubborn self- is worth every bit of heartache and inconvenience. It has taken almost a year for me to realize it, and I am so glad I finally have. Remind me of that next time I am whining, ok? :)

"Shout and be glad, O Daughter of Zion. For I am coming, and I will live among you", declares the LORD. "Many nations will be joined with the LORD in that day and will become my people. I will live among you and you will know that the LORD Almighty has sent me to you." Zechariah 2:10 If we really believed that Jesus came and we now have God living within us, that He is HERE- how differently would we live?

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