Friday, March 6, 2009
Scout was a genius.
I have the greatest job in the world, but it has been fairly slow the last few months, so when I work the evening shift, I usually have some down time. Well, I finished "To Kill A Mockingbird" again last night, and have decided that Scout was a brilliant little girl. There were so many great ideas in that novel, and so much history. It was really a fun read.
One particular part struck me- when Scout has to sit in on a "ladies luncheon" with her Aunt, she reflects on how baffling women are. Scout, being raised by a father and a big brother, has no recollection of her mother, and their cook, Calpurnia, doesn't have the airs good, Southern women seemed to possess. So Scout really doesn't have much experience with the formal manners of women. A silent exchange happens between her aunt and her dear neighbor, Miss Maudie, and Scout realizes soon she will need to enter this difficult world of women. Scout realizes she is much more comfortable in her father's world, "People like Mr. Heck Tate did not trap you with innocent questions to make fun of you...Ladies seemed to live in faint horror of men, seeming unwilling to approve wholeheartedly of them. But I liked them. There is something about them, no matter how much they cussed and drank and gambled and chewed; no matter how undelectable they were, there was something about them that I instinctively liked....they weren't-...hypocrites". Here the author blends Scout's thoughts with the surrounding conversation, but I couldn't help hanging on to that concept. I realized that I felt that way a lot of the time- slightly confused at the mannerisms and secret thoughts women around me seem to harbor. No wonder my husband is my very best friend. He is so relaxing to be around (when he isn't mercilessly teasing me), and I can count on him to be honest all the time. I always thought that was just because he was my husband- but is it also because it is the very nature of a man?
I like to be alone, and thought that was one reason I don't hang out with a lot of women anymore- my hobbies also make me more isolated unfortunately, the women in my circle don't seem to like to hang out with thousand pound animals and their manure. But last night I realized some of the reason is it is just EASIER to do my own thing. As a kid you can't wait to become part of the adult world, and as a young woman, I wanted to fight for my spot in "society". Now, I really could care less. Is that terrible? I am not on old lady, so shouldn't I be actively ministering to the women around me, rather than feeling like I would rather be with my horses- they make sense to me all the time, whereas most women make no sense, some women make some sense, and I can think of only three women who make sense to me all the time.
I know I am making big generalizations here, but for the most part- I agree with Scout. I need to work harder on relating to women on their playing field, but it is nice to know I am not the only one who finds the world of women difficult to manuever at times. Women are confusing- myself included!
All that being said, I love being a woman, and all the pleasures that come with it as a wife, mother, sister and friend. I just wish we could all be kinder to one another, and more compassionate sometimes. Get rid of the "game" and LOVE each other.
It is a gift from God that I don't have to be married to a woman- I know, that sounds weird, but you know what I mean. There are some days that I think, "God, why did you invent the marriage relationship?", but others where I see the wisdom of God in designing male and female- so totally different in every way, and so totally perfect to meet each other's needs. I am so lucky that my partner in life is the best man I know. He absolutely fits me perfectly, and blesses me in so many ways. Things have been hard, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it. Being married to a real Christian has all the benefits of being able to trust that when things aren't going right, God will work on both of us until we figure it out, plus all the "man-ness" that I love without all the "yuckiness" that some men exemplify. Steve is the best friend, the best joker, the best lover, and the most honest Christian I know. Scout would have loved him.
"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble." 1Peter 3:8