Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Only in my world....

There is this scene in the movie TWILIGHT where the main characters are talking, and Bella (the chick) says, "This isn't real, stuff like this doesn't happen"- and Edward (the vampire boy that is 100 years old) says, "It does in my world". Yeah, I feel you, man.
Only in the Doan world can you go from talking about moving back to town in September so your son can go to the high school he wants to attend, and two weeks later, have your co-renters be moving out, your husband unemployed, "sicker than a mad cow" sick when you haven't had even a bad cold in 5 years, your children all jumping ship for the week to go to the beach with friends, one of your horses already gone and the last two almost sold- and still be expected to go to work and actually smile and care about the people there. I have decided God has a bigger sense of humor than he does any other emotion. Is that blasphemous?

I am being very melodramatic, so forgive me. I just am still feeling a little shell-shocked, but the more I process everything, the more I know God is so amazingly good.
1. We started our whole "Financial Peace" thing, not having any idea how much we would need to have gotten our finances in order. Specimen A in the "Evidence that God is always watching out for you" case. Now, Steve being out of work won't be nearly as hard because we had already nearly halved our overhead by getting rid of a lot of the fluff.
2. We trusted Jordan to make his decision about school last summer, and now that he has, his timing was perfect because Steve and I were in a much better place with our trust in God to allow Jordan this next stage of growth. God has done more in Steve and my heart in the last two months than I can describe. Specimen B- Steve found out he was getting laid off, and after one conversation, instead of being down and depressed, he was encouraged, and totally had faith that this is part of God's great plan for us. (Who is this man, and how did I get blessed to be his wife?) My amazing husband squared his shoulders, shot off some resumes, and keeps on keeping on.
3. We told Stef that we would be moving in the fall, and a week later she up and finds a place and says she's moving this month. A little taken aback, but no joke- the SAME DAY she tells us this, Steve gets laid off. Specimen C that God is amazing- instead of having to cover the full rent here by ourselves for the next 6 months, God made it evidently clear that he wasn't even going to let that be an option. Without Steve working, we can't even afford this place for another month on our own. We obviously need to be moving sooner rather than later, and couldn't have done it if Stef was not moving first. We couldn't leave her out here by herself.
4. I get so sick last Wednesday that I can hardly walk. Specimen D- God knocks me flat instead of letting me run around freaking out on my two days off about all the stress, trying to make plans, fretting and swearing a lot- God tells me to "be still" and know that He is God, and He has got it under control. Hey, did you know the world keeps on turning even if I am out of commission for a couple of days?
5. We had decided to sell the horses because of the costs and the need to have more time taxi-ing the kids around, and I have literally cried every day just thinking about it. In my mind, I have tried to think of ways Steve might let me keep just Iris, talking myself out of the reasons we agreed on that we needed to wait until the kids are gone to get into horses again, etc etc. Specimen E- Steve loses his job, and suddenly, I couldn't give a rip about having horses, I would just like to be able to put food in front of my children. God totally showed me my priorities before I could start whining to Steve until he gave in, which would have totally disrespected him and caused more trouble in the long run.
"Evidence that God is always watching out for you" case- closed. God is innocent. He is never "against" us, He is never hurtful, and He never gives us more than we can bear.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (This was my verse all last year, but I think I am going to claim it again for 2009- it seems like we are going to need it.)

All being said, the Doan World may be volatile and still in a total uproar, but I know if I keep putting one foot in front of the other, it's all going to be "alright".

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