Tuesday, January 13, 2009
It is in the genes!
I think I have finally found the cause of my easy addiction to all things fiction- my genetic make up. Hehehe Ahhhh, isn't it wonderful to be able to blame something for my failings? Whether it be over eating, alcoholism, homosexuality, inability to commit, or ADHD- if we can blame it on our parents, it makes it all ok, right? (gag with me if you have heard those pathetic excuses for lack of self control a time or two)
No really, I found the other day that my mother and I actually have something in common, and it was such a neat surprise. My parents surprised us a few nights ago with coming to dinner, and it was so fun to see them here. They rarely come to our house, hardly more than they visited us in AZ, which was once. So when they called and said they would like to come over, we were glad. While visiting, some how books became a topic, and I found out that my MOTHER doesn't like to read anymore because she feels guilty that she is neglecting her other duties. How hilarious is that? I never would have thought it, all my life I have never seen her pick up a book for other than work purposes. But she said once she starts a book, she finds it nearly impossible to put it down, and as a girl, she would hid in closets, under the stairs, wherever- to read and read uninterrupted. Her mom would get so angry because she thought she was sneaking out, or hiding from doing chores. Sounds familiar- now I know why she was so indulgent of my love of books when I was growing up, she never complained TOO much when I would ride my bike up to the summer book mobile- come home with about 15 novels, and disappear for the next few days. My mom would even try to read in closets with out a light, so that no one would see it and come looking for her. It was so funny to picture her like that, a romantic, imaginative girl- knowing she had business to attend to, but unable to tear herself away from interesting characters.
It was a nice memory to share, and I loved the glimpse at my mother it gave me. There are moments where I can see that fun-loving spirit peek out from her, and if it weren't for the worries of life, she might have managed to keep some of the "story-loving little girl" more present in her. This idea has made me determined to stop over-analyzing and stressing about so much, and work on taking each moment, for what ever it is worth- and living IN it. I love my mom, and know that she has taught me many things growing up, and even today, she is a reminder to be generous, to love your family, work hard for your children, and now- to go read some books and enjoy them! I never want to lose my sense of humor, or have worrying be my trademark. There has to be some lightness, and frivolous behavior, once in awhile! For all that we complain, I don't know very many people who have any right to blame their parents for their problems as adults. As a mother, I know we all do the very best we can- and your psychiatrist can take care of the rest. :)
I love this photo- on a snorkeling trip to Phu Quoc, my mom wanted to participate in our fun in the sun, but didn't want to jeopardize her complexion with a tan. So she hitched her skirt up, put Jordan's shirt on her head, and waded into the sea with us!