One of those days it would have been better not to get out of bed at all. I got some devastating news this morning from a dear friend that causes me to ask- why, Lord, why do you allow these things? I know that it is better to believe without seeing, that faith is the very essence of trust and belief in something bigger than what you can completely understand, but does heartbreak really serve a purpose? Destroyed marriages, crushed children, relationships ruined by unfaithfulness and selfishness- can these things ever end well?
As I moved around thinking about these things, with tears of sadness and outrage, God gave me exactly what I needed- what I call my "therapy". I can't explain it to you in words, but this letter someone wrote to an editor of a magazine says it pretty well.
"When I read 'What Horses Make Us Do' (November Issue 2008 of Horse and Rider) I started thinking about what horses make me NOT do.
'I'm bored' isn't said around our horse.I don't take anti-depressants. I don't sit on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I don't take pills for my nerves. Nothing gives me more satisfaction than drinking coffee in the morning while watching my horses eat their hay. I don't even have to go to the gym to work out.
Point of my story: My horses are my entertainment, physical trainers, and therapists. They give me a sense of self, a sense of worth, and a reason to wear big, gaudy turquoise jewelry. They keep me well- rounded, open- minded, goal- oriented, and pinching pennies. They leave me feeling satisfied and rewarded. They teach me how to budget money and time,and that- just like with riding- when you throw your weight around, things are bound to get unbalanced. " Nikki Davis-London
What I needed most today was to shake off the sadness and sorrow for my friend, and remember that God has a reason and a purpose for everything. Thankfully, He has blessed me with 3 "therapists" just out the back door. I can go and cry into a beautiful mane at any hour, and after a bit, the world gets right side up again, and I feel like I just might be able to make it through. My horses remind me to take a deep breath, try to gain perspective, and when all else fails and hope has disappeared, "keep on, keepin' on"- regardless of what your feelings say. When life is confusing, do what you know is right, and trust that God has given you the tools to muddle through. Pick up that pitchfork and do your duty, the rest God can work out.
Pray with me that all who feel alone in this world, betrayed and hurting today, would receive such a blessing from God,the peace and steadiness that transcends all understanding. God be with you.
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