Friday, January 2, 2009

New Year's Resolutions.

I spent much of New Year's goofing off, hanging with the fam, enjoying some yummy munchies, and playing Sing Star at Stef's house (way too fun, if God had blessed me with a better set of pipes I would have been an AWESOME rock star!),but throughout the day I kept thinking about "New Year's Resolutions". I have never made them, mostly because I knew I would quickly fail at keeping them, and then spend the rest of the year kicking myself and calling myself a loser. But for some reason, I wanted to make one this year. My dilemma? What would I "resolve", and why? I can certainly think of a million and a half things I need to do differently, or change about myself, but which ONE is worthy of being a "resolution"? I also have never understood why people make resolutions, and despite my friends attempts to explain it with football and money analogies, I still am not sure the purpose it serves- or is it a different motivation for each individual? The Bible says, "The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps." in Proverbs 16:9, not that this is a license to disregard any pro-active movements on our parts towards what we believe is God's will for us, but it makes me feel like the future is something that is always changing and shifting, since I have no idea what God might have me doing in the next year, much less the next hour. In light of that knowledge, how successful can a New Year's Resolution be, unless you have the 411 on God's mind?
So I wonder, are resolutions at the New Year an off-shoot of an old superstition that was based on "luck" and trying to will things into existence, or are resolutions a reminder for us to live intentionally, to set an attainable goal and work towards achieving it, a vocalized choice we have committed to during a "mountain-high experience" such as holidays often bring. (The first kiss I remember was on New Years, and I thought that life couldn't get any better. How silly my 7 year old mind was. Yeah, long story.)
Anyways, you see my problem. I have no reason to believe there is a purpose in making a resolution, and I have not thought of anything to "resolve", yet I WANT to make one. I suppose I am at an impasse with my desires and my stupid mind that won't just let me BE. So, seeing that it is no longer midnight, and in fact, an hour after...Hello, January 1, 2009...and as for a resolution, maybe next year.

No comments: