Wednesday, February 18, 2009
It is so funny to me how things can go from great, to horrible, to o.k., to better if you just give it enough time. I am usually too quick to try to fix things on my own instead of waiting to see what God is going to do- and I miss the chance to let things transition calmly.
Sunday was tough and great at the same time- I hate church sometimes because it always reminds me what I need to do- forgive, believe, trust, and love, knowing all things work for the "good of those who love Him", and then I love church because it reminds me! What a freak I am. The rest of the day was a blast because I got to teach my dear friend, Karen, how to make egg rolls, and laughing and hanging out with her is the best. She has to be the nicest person God ever made, and I don't know how He did it. It's kind of disgusting to be around her, because I realize how "un-nice" I really am, but she likes me anyway, so there must be some hope. Anyways, we had a great time, Jazz was a huge help and got to spend time in the kitchen with us, and her family loved the yummy treats.
Then Monday night hits, and I am overwhelmed with worry and second guessing, thanks to my soon to be 14 year old. Jordan has some tough choices to make, and for the first time- I have absolutely no say in how he does it. And that SUCKS. There is no good way to say it. Having to watch your baby become a man and choose right from wrong, accept consequences, and GROW UP is terrifying. So Tuesday was spent on my knees, and in many tears- but I think that is exactly where God wanted me.
Here we are- Wednesday- I have a peace that doesn't make sense, and it is really nice. No matter what, God is God, and He loves Jordan more than I ever could. God, be with him- and do whatever it takes to draw him towards you. Help the people in his life to be shining lights for you, and protect him from decisions that will have overwhelming consequences. Make him a man after your own heart, Lord. And help me to shut up and pray. :)
The next time days are flying by and making me feel like I am more on a roller coaster rather than the Tilt-A-Whirl of my regular life, I hope I can remember this day, and the blessing that comes with just being still and waiting on God.
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10