Sunday, February 8, 2009

Working hard, living well.

It is so funny how 12 hours can easily demolish my resolve. Yesterday, I was encouraged and determined to work harder and quit whining and this morning all I want to do is cuddle up with my kiddos and do nothing. :) I suppose that has something to do with working the late shift and not getting into bed until 1:30, then getting up at 6 am to feed the beasties.
I watched the movie, River Wild, yesterday and something one of the characters said struck my heart. Meryl Strep is complaining to her mother, "I think my marriage is over, mama....everything has just gotten incredibly HARD." Her mother looked at her and said, "You don't know what hard is, because you give yourself an out...My generation didn't have an out- til death do us part meant something...don't you think that if I gave myself an out, with your father's orneriness and deafness- I wouldn't have taken it years ago?" I loved that, because that is often what I do. "I don't want to go to work, I don't want to trim hooves, I don't want to do the dishes, I don't want to pull weeds, I don't want to get up"....and on and on the list goes. What was really cool, is every scene you see the mother and father together- after 50+ years- they obviously love each other- "hard" was worth it.
I thought of one of my co-workers, who is a single mom, works full time, raising two teenagers who give her such a hard time alone- and I realized, she doesn't HAVE an out. Her rent won't get paid whether she works or not, she doesn't have someone to back her when it is time to discipline, and even more, she doesn't have faith in the one true God who died to save her. And I do, so what am I complaining about? My marriage isn't perfect, but it is worth it. My job might be tiring, but it is the best job I can imagine, I have so much to be thankful for, and so little to quit about. If I put half of the energy I do in complaining, into serving my husband and family in any way they need, I would get a lot more done and enjoy life so much more.
Thank you, God, for reminding me yet again to have a merry heart and be grateful in all things. Working hard is a good thing, and to the benefit of all- including myself. Help me to remember that.
So I am going to head to church, attending a meeting, and go to work tonight with a light heart- trusting that I don't NEED an out, because God will give me the strength I need. :)


Nikki said...

It issss so hard when you have that good attitude...and then something happens to steal it from RUDE!.lol of all people know...that I know exactly how you feel. Today is an off day for me...but it is encouraging to know that I'm not the only one. So in other words...your misery is comforting to me. :) Mainly because...I know that there is a light at the end eventually. I think today would be a good Pho day if I was feeling better physically. :) Have a great day.

Doanz said...

I know what you mean- I have thought of Pho about a million times this last week, but knew the beef would send you straight to the ER. Blast those gallbladder stones! Love ya, girlie, and I hope today is a better day!