Sunday, October 26, 2008
We are to be pitied...
Crazy week. Good in lots of ways, busy in a hundred ways. Lots of decisions to make, plans to be discussed, feelings to be considered. Working full time hours for a week makes me realize how grateful I am to only work part time most weeks. Sometimes I think that if I could just make a pause button for life- that everyone else could continue about their business, but I could pause my day- it would be so wonderful. I could hold back the things that had to get done, and then just jump back in once all the events are over, with no consequences. Heehee, wouldn't that be lovely. Never a reality, but a nice dream all the same. We are trying to decide what to do for Jordan next year, school-wise. He will be a freshman, and it seems like a good time to transition him back to traditional school, but the costs and worries I have are making it hard to see the "forest through the trees" so to speak. Pray with me if you think of it, the decision is so important, and how we raise our children is one thing we never want to look back on and regret. To feel that we have missed out on the next 4 years of his life would be devastating, but to not give him a needed opportunity would be just as bad. What to do?
The only thing I can think of to share tonight was something I heard from a pastor on KPDQ this week. I am so tired it is amazing I can think at all, so hopefully this makes as much sense now as it did on Thursday. He was going through one of my favorite books currently, Philippians- and he made the point that if all we are hoping for is our Christianity to help us through this life, to make the living of day to day better- than we are to be "pitied above all others". He continued to state this idea, that if we only hope for comfort, we are to be pitied, for love and acceptance, we are to be pitied, safety and shelter, we are to be pitied. He went on for quite awhile, and I wasn't sure what exactly he was getting at. But as he continued to expand the idea, and share God's Word, it really struck me that that is often how I pray. That God would help me to make things better here, that he would heal broken relationships, grow my children towards Him, bless my marriage, fix my finances, but ultimately- none of that should be of first and foremost importance to me, that my eyes should be set on heaven- that heaven is where I belong and this other stuff is just baggage. It was very cool, and as he described how false this idea of "being a Christian equals better times" was, and how many forms of depression and anxiety would be better treated with love for our true home, heaven-it just pointed a finger in my face. I might not realize it because I always THINK I am getting ready for the "big trip", but am I really? Do I REALLY want heaven and my Father more than ANYTHING here? Not to imply that clinical depression shouldn't be treated medically, but how often have I, myself, been depressed for a time over something so ridiculous, I can't even remember the cause now? And it always comes back to where my focus lies. "For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory..." Philippians 3:20 Finally, it won't be HARD to do the right thing there. Hurray!